I can't remember...

...what it is like:

1. To have feet that don't look like canoes

2. To walk without waddling

3. To go more 90 minutes without peeing

4. To read anything other than baby books

5. To drink a glass of wine without debilitating guilt

6. To wear pants without an elastic waistband

7. Not to sweat in 40 degree weather

8. To eat Jimmie Johns less than three times a week...I think I need a support group to cure my addiction.

9. To do something other watch TV in the evenings

10.  To sleep in bed with less than three other men

11.  To not be a walking punchline.  I am seriously sick of complete strangers laughing openly at the size of my girth

12.  To be able to breathe.  Really.  Can't breathe.  At all.  

13.  See my vajay vajay.  Sorry if that is too personal, but at this point, I am not sure it is still even there. 

14.  Not to take my blood pressure 18 times a day.  I bought one of those home monitors and I am so worried about pre-eclampsia that I have become a tad bit compulsive. 

15. Not to blow dry my hair every day.  I know it is vain, but I am not going to the hospital with anything less than gorgeous, clean, freshly straightened locks.  There are just too many pictures that are going to be taken and if I have to be fat, bloated, and have greasy hair, I might actually perish.