By Request...

First and foremost, for the six of you out there that are actually reading my blog, I am so sorry for not posting.  I think I have heard from all six of you and it appears that you are sick of seeing no updates.  So, this post is to fill you guys in on the miscellaneous stuff going on in my life and I will also put up the six month letter to the boys and some new pics this week.  I am sorry I am so behind!

Let's cover the somewhat mundane stuff first.  As some of you may know, I have accepted a new job!  I was due to return to Finish Line on June first, on a part time basis.  I have been on a VERY extended maternity leave (six full months) because of the contracting economy. Apparently, Finish Line, as a billion dollar company, felt it was critical to the legal budget to forgo my piddly salary for an additional three months, so I was furloughed.  During that time, I continued to talk to my good friend Kena Hollingsworth about joining her firm, Hollinsworth, Sever, Storey and Zivitz.  A little background: they are an up and coming small firm, with family law roots, that is beginning to offer a wider range of legal services.  We have been discussing me coming on board for ages and starting a business/entrepreneurial services practice and finally the time is right!  So, on Monday (yes, tomorrow) I will be launching my new private practice venture as an attorney with HSSZ!

I cannot tell you how excited I am about this new opportunity.  I have always dreamed of combining my practical experience of starting a business with my legal in-house skills.  I will be building a practice doing business work at a very affordable rate - I hope to serve small business owners and entrepreneurs who need high quality legal work on contracts, leases, disputes etc. but cannot afford large firm prices (who are typically the only attorneys offering these types of services).  Think of it as in-house legal services for people who could never afford an in-house lawyer.  I will update this blog with my new contact information as soon I have it finalized. Please think of me if you know anyone with business related legal needs!  In the meantime, the website is www.severstorey.com.

To make matters even better, HSSZ is going to be a great personal fit for me!  It is very laid back, flexible environment full of lovely, intelligent, hard-working people.  And it is literally around the corner from my house.  They are moving to a new space in about six weeks that is just another five minutes away.  My days shlepping out to the ghetto and eating fast food in my car on my lunch hour are OVER!!  YAY!!! 

I am so thrilled that I get to combine work and parenting.  This has been so agonizing for me.  I am beyond lucky to have incredible child care (in fact, sometimes I suspect Heidi might be a better parent than I am), and I have been very conflicted about returning to work.  This is not a unique quandary, so I won't bore you with the intricacies of my over-analyzing.  But, suffice it to say, eight months is a very long time to not work.  But I cannot express what a pleasure it has been to spend so much time with Oscar and Judah.  I have been able to cuddle with the boys all day (and escape for a couple of hours too).  I have watched them grow before my very eyes.  I have not missed a single milestone.  When something fun happens, I can be there, even if I am not home (sometimes I have had to surrender the spoils of a trip to Target to dash home for an Oscar laugh attack or Judah rolling over, what a small price to pay!).   I have loved the freedom and flexibility of being a full time parent with a full time nanny.  So this is how the other half lives.  

For the last four years, I have spent an exorbitant amount of time fantasizing about not working. As much as I have enjoyed spending so much time with the boys, and having the time to work out every day (Ok, most days.  Fine...some days), I have realized that staying at home is not for me.  The expression idle hands are a devil's playground could not be more apt: 

Exhibit A - Shopping.  What the hell is there to do all day if you don't work?  Even if I don't leave the house, the Internet beckons.  And because I am not working and we have two mortgages be due to the fact that we STILL haven't sold our old home yet, this was a very dangerous diversion.  I have spent a ridiculous amount of time in Old Navy and I have returned so many ridiculous tops and accessories that I have been flagged as a "return policy abuser."  This is the equivalent of being tagged with a retail scarlet letter.  Oy. 

Exhibit B - General Sloth.  Every morning we get up with the boys at 7:00 a.m. for their first feeding.  But, because I have nowhere to go, I frequently returned to the comfy confines of my bed.  Again, back in the days of working 50-60 hours a week, this was a fantasy that I dreamed of with greater frequency than dreaming about winning Powerball or Phish coming back from hiatus (dreams come true!).  Anyway, going back to bed every day is a delightful double edged sword.  The associated guilt is practically debilitating.  Every morning I would watch Brent get dressed and have somewhere to go, and I would actually be jealous.  Apparently I am just not designed to be a woman of leisure.  I blame my parents.  They made me so ambitious I can't even sleep in when I have nowhere to go.  Jerks. 

Exhibit C - Alcoholism.  See Exhibit B.  Wouldn't you drink more frequently when you can sleep in every day?  My liver hurts. 

I am certain that once the stresses of my professional life re-assert themselves, I will be longing for these lazy days.  But enough is enough.  Even if it is just for my finances.  Clearly, regardless of my account balance, I can't stop shopping.  So I guess I need to get back to work.  And if I have to go back to work, it might as well be with awesome people, taking on a new and exciting challenge, with a 1 mile commute.  

I know you are jealous.  To rub it in, I went to Carb Day at the track with my new co-workers last week.  We rolled in style - a huge Hummer limo, with a police escort.  My only job was not to get too drunk and make a bad impression on my new co-workers.  Yeah, misson: failed.  Ah well, at least everyone else seemed to be half in the bag too.  

Stay tuned for future posts about Judah and Oscar and all their amazing milestones, and our ridiculous weekend in Chicago.  

The Parenting Hamster Wheel

So, I love being a parent. I think I have made that abundantly clear. But, there is a certain endlessness to it all that sometimes can be pretty overwhelming. The best way to demonstrate this endlessness is the mornings. To be perfectly fair, we have it pretty good. Oscar and Judah are still the best sleepers. They go to bed around 6:30 p.m. every night and sleep straight through until around 8:00 a.m. From what I can glean from other parents, this is fairly ridiculous sleep habits.

Nonetheless (and really, whether they wake up at six or nine, the responsibilities are equivalent) every single day, I am awakened by Judah crying. I no longer use an alarm clock and I don't think I have since mid September, when he woke me by kicking me on the inside. And so, every day, I trudge into the kitchen, make two bottles, heat them up, while Brent drags his ass upstairs to change diapers. We then feed both boys and then get ready for the day. (Ok, since I am still on "sabbatical" I sometimes go back to sleep for a little while...it is downright gluttony, but I figure I will never really get to do this again, so I might as well enjoy it).

See, there is no sleep button for Judah. And I can't roll over and pull the pillow over my head. He has to eat, he is starving. Of course, so is Oscar, but he is infinitely more patient about the whole thing. And so, every day, for the next 18 or so years, I am going to awaken with the sole responsibility of feeding these two little monsters. There are no day offs. No spring breaks. I am a mom forever, with the attendant responsibilities. Of course I knew I was getting into this. And of course I knew it would be monotonous sometimes and it would feel like a chore sometimes. And it does.

There are a million little responsibilities that go along with parenting. I am sure this seems fairly obvious to most of you, but I think I didn't fully understand it until I was pregnant. I don't want this post to seem like I don't love being a mom, but I do think that I should be honest about the struggles of parenthood too. Not everything is lollipops and rainbows, as Brent would say. And sometimes I need a break. Sometimes I would kill to roll over and sleep in, not feeling guilt that every extra minute they cry in the morning is going to add to their time in psychotherapy later.