We are back from Las Vegas and we had an absolutely amazing time. The wedding was spectacular. Marissa and Robby were really happy and it showed in every single detail. The only wedding I have ever enjoyed more was our own. And it is a close call, especially considering Brent danced at Robby's wedding and not ours! Anyway, Marissa was a stunning and gracious bride, and Robby was a happy, beaming groom.
We felt that the boys were so welcomed and they were really a big hit too! They were really well behaved on the flight out and back (no Xanex needed for me, it was a bloody miracle). Other than a few minor meltdowns on the first day, they were perfect angels.
Vegas seemed to really bring out the party animals in both of the boys. We got our first true giggles out of Judah and Oscar found everything hilarious, especially tickles on his toes. Judah has really established himself as the talker of the family, doing a lot of cooing, ooohing and ahhing. The sound is beyond precious. I never really understood the meaning of music to my ears until I heard my boys' laughter. In other news, as a result of their long sojourn in sin city, the boys also experienced their first baby, ahem, well, boners. I suspect these will not be the last in Las Vegas, especially if Brent has anything to do with their bachelor parties.
I can barely discuss it.
Anyway, enjoy the pictures (not of the boners....get your minds out of the gutter!)
P.S. We won money! I kicked ass at blackjack. Whoo hoo!
http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/OscarAndJudahMonthFourAndVegas#
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Happy Four Month Birthday!
Well looky here. I am posting Oscar and Judah's four month birthday letter on time! It is a miracle. Sorry there was no three month birthday post, I was just too unorganized to get it done.
Dear Oscar and Judah!
Happy Birthday! You are four months old today. I cannot believe how much you are changing. Yesterday, we heard the most amazing sound, Oscar, you laughed for the first time ever. Daddy was just holding you on his lap, tickling and playing with you and you let out the most precious giggle I have ever heard. I melted into a puddle right then and there.
And speaking of cute developments, Judah, you have started smiling all the time. You were a little behind Oscar in this regard and frankly, it had your father and I worried. But just like you were a little behind when you were born, you just needed a couple of extra days before you got caught up and started smiling. And it was worth the wait. When you smile at us, your whole face lights up and it is clear that you are full of joy.
We are leaving tomorrow for Las Vegas for Uncle Robby and Aunt Marissa's wedding. We are so excited to take you on your first trip! It is a little ridiculous how much luggage we are bringing (at last count, four bags for Brent and I, two bags for you guys, two strollers and two car seats!). We are definitely a little nervous about the plane ride. I have a feeling I am about to receive some karmic retribution for the all the death stares I have given to parents of screaming babies on planes. But we are armed with a Sam's Club container of ear plugs to hand out to all the surrounding passengers and I have my stash of Xanex handy. We have tons of new clothes for you and I can't wait to show you guys off! We are lucky that your girlfriend, Heidi (our absolutely amazing nanny) is coming with us. She is so organized and helpful, we know we couldn't do this trip without her. Plus having Heidi there means that Mommy and Daddy can enjoy some Vegas fun! I promise to try and not gamble away your college savings!
In other news, you guys are sleeping so well and eating a ton! We know we are really lucky to have you sleeping a full 12 hours every night. You are still crying a lot. Whoever said that the crying peaks at 3 months is full of malarky. But we are pretty used to it by now. And with all these new ways of communicating, we are sure that soon you will be bossing us around instead of crying to express your needs and frustrations!
What is really great is that you are finally big enough and strong enough to play in your toys! Thanks again to Heidi, the super-nanny, who unpacked and organized your play room, you have lots of fun things to do. Oscar, you really seem to dig the Jumparoo. In fact, I am neglecting you right now while you bounce around in there. And Judah, I think you seem quite taken with the Exersaucer. It is great to have places to stash you other than the swings and the pack'n'play, which incidentally, is almost too small for you now anyway.
We are constantly amazed at everything you do and the people you are becoming. We can't wait to take this crazy side show on the road this weekend. Las Vegas, here we come!
Love,
Mommy
Dear Oscar and Judah!
Happy Birthday! You are four months old today. I cannot believe how much you are changing. Yesterday, we heard the most amazing sound, Oscar, you laughed for the first time ever. Daddy was just holding you on his lap, tickling and playing with you and you let out the most precious giggle I have ever heard. I melted into a puddle right then and there.
And speaking of cute developments, Judah, you have started smiling all the time. You were a little behind Oscar in this regard and frankly, it had your father and I worried. But just like you were a little behind when you were born, you just needed a couple of extra days before you got caught up and started smiling. And it was worth the wait. When you smile at us, your whole face lights up and it is clear that you are full of joy.
We are leaving tomorrow for Las Vegas for Uncle Robby and Aunt Marissa's wedding. We are so excited to take you on your first trip! It is a little ridiculous how much luggage we are bringing (at last count, four bags for Brent and I, two bags for you guys, two strollers and two car seats!). We are definitely a little nervous about the plane ride. I have a feeling I am about to receive some karmic retribution for the all the death stares I have given to parents of screaming babies on planes. But we are armed with a Sam's Club container of ear plugs to hand out to all the surrounding passengers and I have my stash of Xanex handy. We have tons of new clothes for you and I can't wait to show you guys off! We are lucky that your girlfriend, Heidi (our absolutely amazing nanny) is coming with us. She is so organized and helpful, we know we couldn't do this trip without her. Plus having Heidi there means that Mommy and Daddy can enjoy some Vegas fun! I promise to try and not gamble away your college savings!
In other news, you guys are sleeping so well and eating a ton! We know we are really lucky to have you sleeping a full 12 hours every night. You are still crying a lot. Whoever said that the crying peaks at 3 months is full of malarky. But we are pretty used to it by now. And with all these new ways of communicating, we are sure that soon you will be bossing us around instead of crying to express your needs and frustrations!
What is really great is that you are finally big enough and strong enough to play in your toys! Thanks again to Heidi, the super-nanny, who unpacked and organized your play room, you have lots of fun things to do. Oscar, you really seem to dig the Jumparoo. In fact, I am neglecting you right now while you bounce around in there. And Judah, I think you seem quite taken with the Exersaucer. It is great to have places to stash you other than the swings and the pack'n'play, which incidentally, is almost too small for you now anyway.
We are constantly amazed at everything you do and the people you are becoming. We can't wait to take this crazy side show on the road this weekend. Las Vegas, here we come!
Love,
Mommy
Friday, March 6, 2009
Overwhelmed
I was just standing in the nursery standing over the boys cribs, and crying. I haven't really been the most emotional mom, and this was just the most surreal moment. Granted, I had about four glasses of wine this evening and I am feeling really sentimental. But, I am just feeling so moved right now. I made those two little precious boys. They are mine.
I laid down in their nursery and thought about all the sleepless nights I spent laying in that barkolounger praying for sleep while I was pregnant. That reclining chair was one of the first things I bought for the nursery and while I was sleepless and hugely knocked up, I would retreat up to that chair during hot sleepless nights during my late pregnancy. I figured it would be the easiest positition to sleep in. I didn't realize that I would also count on the symbolism of sleeping in the boys' room to help me sleep. The room was already painted a beautiful shade of robin's egg blue and I would lay there and dream about the boys kicking their feet all through me.
Tonight I laid back down in that chair for the first time since I gave birth. Sure, I have sat there lots of times feeding the boys, even nursing them, but this is the first time I have tilted the chair all the way back and laid there, staring at the ceiling, since I was pregnant. This time, however, I heard the most amazing snores, sighs, and heavy breathing. These boys are people. They are not inside of me anymore. I cannot describe how profound that feels.
I have a feeling this will seem far less eloquent tomorrow morning when the wine wears off. But for now, I am just so moved. Those are my sons. They are laying up there sleeping so peacefully in the nursery. The nursery where I spent so many sleepless nights thinking about them. And now, all I want to do is curl up there and listen to them breathe.
I laid down in their nursery and thought about all the sleepless nights I spent laying in that barkolounger praying for sleep while I was pregnant. That reclining chair was one of the first things I bought for the nursery and while I was sleepless and hugely knocked up, I would retreat up to that chair during hot sleepless nights during my late pregnancy. I figured it would be the easiest positition to sleep in. I didn't realize that I would also count on the symbolism of sleeping in the boys' room to help me sleep. The room was already painted a beautiful shade of robin's egg blue and I would lay there and dream about the boys kicking their feet all through me.
Tonight I laid back down in that chair for the first time since I gave birth. Sure, I have sat there lots of times feeding the boys, even nursing them, but this is the first time I have tilted the chair all the way back and laid there, staring at the ceiling, since I was pregnant. This time, however, I heard the most amazing snores, sighs, and heavy breathing. These boys are people. They are not inside of me anymore. I cannot describe how profound that feels.
I have a feeling this will seem far less eloquent tomorrow morning when the wine wears off. But for now, I am just so moved. Those are my sons. They are laying up there sleeping so peacefully in the nursery. The nursery where I spent so many sleepless nights thinking about them. And now, all I want to do is curl up there and listen to them breathe.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Working on working
Working outside the home poses an interesting question. I had always assumed that I would definitely work outside the home. I have the utmost respect for stay at home moms, but I know myself and I suspected that it was more than I could probably handle.
The original plan was for me to go back to work at Finish Line sometime in mid-March, which was already a month longer than most people get. Before you get all jealous, bear in mind that this was entirely unpaid leave, and considering the economy, I got the feeling that the fine folks at Finish Line kind of enjoyed having me off the books for a while. That feeling was confirmed recently when I was basically furloughed from my job there. I have been asked to take an extended unpaid leave until June 1, at which time I will return to work on a part time basis. So, it looks like I have some time as a stay at home mom after all.
In the meantime, I have my fabulous nanny Heidi working for me five days a week. I will not let her go because a) I need the help, even when I am home, or else Brent returns to find me a raving spitup soaked loony on my fifth glass of wine at five o'clock and b) she is so fantastic that if I were to let her go, I am certain that she would be hired by another family immediately. It is competitive out there for good nannies. Just this week one of my neighbors was sniffing around Heidi. If she so much as nanny flirts with her again, she will be enjoying some doggie doo in her yard from Kiva.
It goes without saying (even though I am going to say it anyway) that I love being a mom. But I also love to work (who knew? I have been bitching about it for so long, I had no idea I actually like it!) I think the part of me that is struggling right now is the part where I feel like I am not contributing much to the world, other than to the GDP, because I seem to keep finding my way into Old Navy. A lot of my self esteem is tied up in my work. I love people needing me, asking my advice, and feeling good at what I do. Being a mom of infants doesn't really satisfy these needs. Sure, the boys need me, but they spend a lot of time sleeping or staring at a plastic mirror affixed to their exersaucer. No one really asks my advice, except about pregnancy, childbirth or sleeping through the night. And I definitely don't have much confidence about being a mom yet. Every day I feel like I wish I knew the answers to the baby questions that plague me (is that a tooth in Oscar's mouth or a zit? Why is Judah's poop different every day even if he always eats the same thing? Am I wrecking their brains by feeding them in front of the TV?). You get the picture.
Right now I am just trying to tow the line between being a parent and being a professional woman who isn't very professional these days. I am trying to find some kind of part time or contract work to sharpen up my mind while I wait to return to Finish Line (which I guess isn't a sure thing either considering the recession and the fact that they have lived without me for going on eight months now, including the time I was on bed rest). I am thinking of teaching an LSAT prep course, maybe substitute teaching at Park Tudor or tutoring. Of course, I would also be interested in doing some kind of part time legal work too. It is a bad time to be out of work, but a good time to be a mom. And I know someday, I will look back on this time and long for it, when I could work out every morning, cuddle with my darling little babies any time of the day, go to the grocery unhurried, and even sneak in a pedicure sometimes. But all this uncertainty is wrecking my enjoyment of my time off, and I think I am starting to get dumber because the only negotiating I am doing is begging Judah to finish his nighttime bottle so he doesn't wake up at 3:00 a.m.
The original plan was for me to go back to work at Finish Line sometime in mid-March, which was already a month longer than most people get. Before you get all jealous, bear in mind that this was entirely unpaid leave, and considering the economy, I got the feeling that the fine folks at Finish Line kind of enjoyed having me off the books for a while. That feeling was confirmed recently when I was basically furloughed from my job there. I have been asked to take an extended unpaid leave until June 1, at which time I will return to work on a part time basis. So, it looks like I have some time as a stay at home mom after all.
In the meantime, I have my fabulous nanny Heidi working for me five days a week. I will not let her go because a) I need the help, even when I am home, or else Brent returns to find me a raving spitup soaked loony on my fifth glass of wine at five o'clock and b) she is so fantastic that if I were to let her go, I am certain that she would be hired by another family immediately. It is competitive out there for good nannies. Just this week one of my neighbors was sniffing around Heidi. If she so much as nanny flirts with her again, she will be enjoying some doggie doo in her yard from Kiva.
It goes without saying (even though I am going to say it anyway) that I love being a mom. But I also love to work (who knew? I have been bitching about it for so long, I had no idea I actually like it!) I think the part of me that is struggling right now is the part where I feel like I am not contributing much to the world, other than to the GDP, because I seem to keep finding my way into Old Navy. A lot of my self esteem is tied up in my work. I love people needing me, asking my advice, and feeling good at what I do. Being a mom of infants doesn't really satisfy these needs. Sure, the boys need me, but they spend a lot of time sleeping or staring at a plastic mirror affixed to their exersaucer. No one really asks my advice, except about pregnancy, childbirth or sleeping through the night. And I definitely don't have much confidence about being a mom yet. Every day I feel like I wish I knew the answers to the baby questions that plague me (is that a tooth in Oscar's mouth or a zit? Why is Judah's poop different every day even if he always eats the same thing? Am I wrecking their brains by feeding them in front of the TV?). You get the picture.
Right now I am just trying to tow the line between being a parent and being a professional woman who isn't very professional these days. I am trying to find some kind of part time or contract work to sharpen up my mind while I wait to return to Finish Line (which I guess isn't a sure thing either considering the recession and the fact that they have lived without me for going on eight months now, including the time I was on bed rest). I am thinking of teaching an LSAT prep course, maybe substitute teaching at Park Tudor or tutoring. Of course, I would also be interested in doing some kind of part time legal work too. It is a bad time to be out of work, but a good time to be a mom. And I know someday, I will look back on this time and long for it, when I could work out every morning, cuddle with my darling little babies any time of the day, go to the grocery unhurried, and even sneak in a pedicure sometimes. But all this uncertainty is wrecking my enjoyment of my time off, and I think I am starting to get dumber because the only negotiating I am doing is begging Judah to finish his nighttime bottle so he doesn't wake up at 3:00 a.m.
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