Now all there is to do is wait. Precisely two weeks to be exact. We have given it the old college try, so now we need to see if it took. It is funny that it took me almost a year to get comfortable with the idea of having a baby (if we are being honest, more like 28 years) but now that I am comfortable with it I cannot wait. I am having so much fun with the idea that somewhere, deep inside me, there are some rapidly developing cells that is our future baby.
But just as soon as I get sort of dreamy and thoughtful about it, I know I am getting totally carried away. There is next to no chance that I got lucky enough (well we all know I got lucky!) to get preggers the first time I tried, but a girl can dream.
So now all there is to do is wait. And wish. And think about my little bundle of cells.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
"Mind Racing" - and we are off!
Well, here we are. It has been almost a year since Brent and I first started talking about starting a family. We have come a really long way, considering for many years, I wasn't even sure I wanted to have kids at all. But now, after lots (really, LOTS) of indecision, and even more regret, concern and over analysis, we have finally decided to start trying to have a baby. Yes, that means that we are sharing some pretty personal information about our bedroom behavior, but those of you reading this are no strangers to our, ahem, lack of modesty.
So, in an effort to memorialize our little adventure, including any missteps we might have, we are sharing this journey with you. There are a number of reasons I want to write about this. First of all, I am always looking to sharpen my writing skills in the off chance that I ever get the balls to write that novel about my crazy childhood and life a la, Running with Scissors. Second, I have always been an external processor (according to my therapist...thanks Carla) and it will help me to understand this experience to write about it. Third, I love to read other people's blogs, even strangers, and I want to add something to that mysterious blogosphere out there. So feel free to pass this along to anyone you know...of course I will be compulsively checking to see my hits, so boost my ego and share!
I guess in the interest in full disclosure, I should note that a) I am not pregnant yet, unless of course we had a very productive afternoon, and b) I am not going to share this blog with anyone until I know I am, and probably even then, not until I am at least 3 months along. However, I want to be writing this now, so that I keep my thoughts current, because we all know I am not organized enough to keep a journal and type this stuff all up later. So by the time you read this, it may be months old!
A few final stream of consciousness thoughts. I know that I won't get pregnant the first time I try, but god, now that I have made up my mind, I want to be pregnant right now. It should be noted that ironically enough, last week I was telling my sister Emily that I didn't want kids at all. When I turn on a dime, I really do the whole 180! Second, I am scared out of my wits and really I have no clue what all of this means. But I will figure it out, hopefully with the help of all of you. Please feel free to comment and email me with any of your advice, thoughts and feedback. Finally, going forward I am going to try and capture/frame my posts with a phrase of the day summarizing my feelings. The difficulty will be choosing just one!
So, in an effort to memorialize our little adventure, including any missteps we might have, we are sharing this journey with you. There are a number of reasons I want to write about this. First of all, I am always looking to sharpen my writing skills in the off chance that I ever get the balls to write that novel about my crazy childhood and life a la, Running with Scissors. Second, I have always been an external processor (according to my therapist...thanks Carla) and it will help me to understand this experience to write about it. Third, I love to read other people's blogs, even strangers, and I want to add something to that mysterious blogosphere out there. So feel free to pass this along to anyone you know...of course I will be compulsively checking to see my hits, so boost my ego and share!
I guess in the interest in full disclosure, I should note that a) I am not pregnant yet, unless of course we had a very productive afternoon, and b) I am not going to share this blog with anyone until I know I am, and probably even then, not until I am at least 3 months along. However, I want to be writing this now, so that I keep my thoughts current, because we all know I am not organized enough to keep a journal and type this stuff all up later. So by the time you read this, it may be months old!
A few final stream of consciousness thoughts. I know that I won't get pregnant the first time I try, but god, now that I have made up my mind, I want to be pregnant right now. It should be noted that ironically enough, last week I was telling my sister Emily that I didn't want kids at all. When I turn on a dime, I really do the whole 180! Second, I am scared out of my wits and really I have no clue what all of this means. But I will figure it out, hopefully with the help of all of you. Please feel free to comment and email me with any of your advice, thoughts and feedback. Finally, going forward I am going to try and capture/frame my posts with a phrase of the day summarizing my feelings. The difficulty will be choosing just one!
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