I suck, and Twelve-Thirteen Month Letter

I am officially terrible at blogging.  It is amazing what happens when life picks up.  Every day, I have been feeling guilty about not writing.  And now I would suspect that I don't have many readers left.  But for those of you out there, here goes.

Dear Oscar and Judah,

You are officially one year old (and some change, due to my procrastination). We celebrated with outrageous style, and honestly I am so sad that you won't remember it.  The day started off with a pile of presents!  Your Nini and Paca (Carol and Ken) and the rest of your family didn't disappoint.  Even before your birthday, our living room looked like a mini Toys R Us and now it is simply out of control.  You got a plethora of riding toys, loud, clanging gizmos, books, and other assorted crap that really annoys your dad and me.  But you love it.  Although admittedly, your favorite toys remain our cell phones and the remote control.  And you saw right through our placebo cell phone and remote (neither of which actually worked).  You want the real deal.  You also both love ripping paper into tiny shreds, so the wrapping paper was almost as fun as anything else!

Your birthday party was simply insanity.  We had a few friends and family to King David Dogs.  You enjoyed your first hotdogs, which you loved, of course.  (You better love them, they are your birthright!).  After stripping you down to minimize the mess, Nini brought out two mini cakes, frosted in blue and black icing.  Judah, you attacked your cake with absolute gusto, digging both hands in and finishing it in about four minutes flat.  Oscar, you weren't sure what to do, and so I stuck my finger in the icing and gave you a taste, and that was the encouragement you needed.  You both went to town.  Note to other parents out there: black icing is not a good idea.

You have both been cruising around for some time.  In the last four weeks or so, Oscar, you have really perfected your crawling technique, going from an army scoot to full blown hands and knees locomotion.  You are both pulling up on anything and everything.  And now, a favorite activity for both of you is to take laps around the living room, cruising along the walls, couch, chairs always with the ultimate goal of ending up at the giant flat screen TV that is your daddy's prized possession.  The TV has this big button lit up in blue, which you both delight in pushing over and over.  It was funny at first, but now it really sucks when you turn the TV off and we are watching a close football game, or waiting to see which skank gets naked on Jersey Shore.  And you know you are being pests, because after you turn the TV off, you look behind you to gauge our reactions.  It is both priceless and irritating!

One other unfortunate side effect of the cruising is what daddy and I call "brown mouth."  We bought our house with this amazing, huge built in wall unit that houses the TV and all our other crap.  Unfortunately, we discovered that the unit is stained in a dark brown varnish, but not sealed.  Considering you are both still putting your mouths on absolutely everything, the result is that it looks like you got into melted chocolate.  This would be funny if it didn't make me terrified that you were being poisoned!  We are going to seal it very soon, but in the meantime, we do a lot of dragging you both away from the wall.

You have also figured out how to work together, which is just hilarious.  We have put up baby gates pretty much everywhere and it feels like your sole goal in life is to find a way to defeat said gates.  You have realized that working in concert is going to be the best way to achieve this goal.  So you both have been pulling up on the gates and then shaking it like crazy to see if you can bring it down.  So far, close but no cigar.  I fear that this is just the beginning of you two teaming up on us.

Judah, in the last week, you have reached a couple of major milestones.  First of all, you took your first steps!  We set you up on your little feet and we were all shocked that you had the balance to stand there by yourself!  And then I scooted away and you took five steps to get to me!  It was unreal.  But then you also figured out that crawling was much more efficient and so ever since, whenever I try to stand you up, your legs turn to spaghetti.  So I guess we still have a few days before you become truly dangerous.  And speaking of dangerous, you also have figured out how to climb up the stairs!  Coming down is another story however.

Neither of you are really talking yet, although the babbling is incessant.  And you are mimicking everything still, and so we hear a lot of dadadada and mamam, as well as lalala, gagag, bababa, etc.  Last weekend we thought we heard Oscar say WOOF, but we haven't had a repeat performance, so that may have been a fluke.  Maybe it was just a cough.

In other news, you will be proud to note that your mommy won fantasy football for the second year running!  Granted this year I only won one out of three leagues (last year, I won two).  Be sure to tease your daddy about the fact that he hasn't won in YEARS and that he didn't even make the playoffs in all the leagues this year.  

We also just had a great weekend with Greg and Iris and their darling daughter Jasmine.  She is the most adorable little peanut, and we know someday Oscar and Judah will be fighting over her!  We are excited to see Gregg and Laura this weekend.  I am sure we will do plenty of gossiping, drinking, eating and shopping.  All of my favorite things!

This week ends 2009, which has really been an up and down year.  We have had so many fun and happy memories, but overall it has been a tough year.  We got to take some amazing trips to Vegas, Mexico, NYC, and Phoenix, but we also had some tough health issues with family members, and dealt with the struggling economy like everyone else.  We had some big disappointments with King David Dogs, but now we are exploring some exciting opportunities for future growth, so we have high hopes for 2010.  We hope that by the time you read these posts, we will all be laughing about the early years of the brand as we sit on a yacht in the Caribbean paid for by our hundreds of franchisees!  In the meantime, we are looking forward to ringing in the New Year with a few friends at our house with a pajama party and breakfast for dinner.  You guys will be having your first sleepover at Nini and Paca's house.  I think I am most excited about sleeping late!

We have lots of fun pictures and videos to post, so be on the lookout for those soon, I swear!

Happy New Year to everyone!!!

Birthday Pictures

I promise I will write a whole post about the boys' first birthday and a letter to them, but we have had lots of requests for pictures in the meantime, so here they are!

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/OscarAndJudahSFirstBirthday#

Month Twelve Pictures!

Here are pics from the rest of month twelve.  Check out the adorable bomber jackets that the boys got to wear for a hot minute before they outgrew them.  I will be posting about their birthday and all requisite associated nostalgia shortly.  In the meantime, enjoy these pics!

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/Month12OscarAndJudah#

Halloween Pictures

Oscar and Judah's first Halloween!  It was a riot...they were fantastic little troopers.  And they really liked their costumes, although Judah's trunk was a bit creepy.

The boys had a blast with all their friends, especially their girlfriends Ava Fisch, Julia Turow and Mia Lazzaro.  The whole night was absolutely hilarious, and I can hardly wait to do it again next year.

Oh, and for the record, we gave away 400 pieces of candy, and the night ended with a game of quarters.  Seriously.  We played quarters.

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/HalloweenBabies#

From babies to toddlers

As Oscar and Judah approach their first birthday, one thing is starting to become clear.  They are not babies anymore.  I first started to notice this astonishing fact when I realized that they don't really fit on the changing table anymore.  And it is making me a bit sad, which is very unexpected.  But the evidence is piling up:

Exhibit A - They are on the move.  Completely.  Oscar was a bit late to the crawling party and he is very sneaky about it, but he is scooting along with the best of them.  The one interesting thing about his locomotion is that he still tends to cry and crawl simultaneously, as if under protest.  But if we leave the room or don't watch, he ambles along with no complaints.  He has just got us snowed.  He knows if he whines enough we will do the moving for him.  But regardless of his manipulations, he is into everything, just like his brother.  Which means that  I can no longer sneak to my bathroom for a moment of plucking my eyebrows or stand in the pantry to snack uninterrupted.  I have to watch them all the time.  The days of them being stationary little buggers is done.  They are basically toddlers.

Exhibit B - They are playing.  Really playing.  With everything and anything.  Of course their favorite toys are not the plethora of gizmos from Target, but instead the remote control, our cell phones, the house phone, the fire place and the baby gates.  We tried to trick them by giving them an old remote with no batteries and a cell phone that isn't hooked up to a service, but they both saw right through that charade.  They know which electronic doodads are the real deal and they won't settle for anything less.  And they read too!  I was amazed to see them  both laying on their bellies tonight, turning the pages of a board book.  It was beyond cute, and I fully expect them to be reading War and Peace by New Year's.

Exhibit C - Food.  These kiddos are eating everything in sight.  Some common favorites are mac and cheese, ice cream, yogurt, chicken fingers and french fries.  They also adore bananas,  mango and tonight's special, green beans.  The days of baby food are pretty much behind us.  They feed themselves almost completely independently and are starting to reach for the spoon too.  Meal times have gotten a lot messier.

Exhibit D - Talking.  Neither of them are really saying anything "for reals" but they are close.  The babbling is just straight out of control.  Oscar is blowing raspberries and mimicking everything that comes out of our mouths.  They talk to each other, to the dogs, to their toys, and soon it is going to be real words.  I am thinking the first thing they will say is "MORE!"  In fact, when I load up their high chair tray with vittles, Judah is already going "MMMMMM" in excitement, especially when he sees gold fish crackers on there.

As they complete the transition from baby to toddler, I have realized I have to change my perspective.  I was always the kind of person that spent a lot of time looking forward to the next step.  While in high school, I couldn't wait for college, while in law school, I couldn't wait to practice, while pregnant, I couldn't wait to have the babies.  But since they were born I find myself wishing everything would go more slowly.  My mother in law always says she can't wait for them to talk, but I am in no hurry.  Once they stop being babies, they will never go back.  And I will miss the cuddling, the wide-eyed appraisal of the world around them, the soft baby skin, and all the other amazing intangibles of having two little creatures that depend on you for every need.  I know they will always need me, but their independence is bittersweet and I suspect that it will only become more nostalgic.  The past year of my life has been the fastest ever, and I have a feeling I will blink and they will be riding bikes.  I will blink again and they will be going on dates.

I guess it is just hard to wrap my head around all these changes.  I have said it before and I will say it again, one of the hardest things about being a parent is that as soon as you get used to one phase, everything changes, and you have to learn a whole new set of parenting rules (baby gates, cabinet locks, the dangers of loose change, when to brush baby teeth...) I feel as if I am starting over back at the beginning.  However, no matter how big Oscar and JJ become, how self sufficient they are, or whether they are dating girls, they will always be my babies, even when they are old and gray.  And now I know why my mom still calls me her baby.

New IBJ Article

Another bit of shameless self promotion:

JOSEPH: Will new rules end blog pay for play?

Hannah Kaufman Joseph

October 24, 2009

 

KEYWORDS 

BLOGS, OPINION, VIEWPOINT

COMMENTSE-MAILPRINT

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ADVERTISEMENT

When reading a blog that recommends a particular product or service, most people may wonder what is behind that recommendation. Sure, we all know Wilford Brimley is paid to endorse Quaker Oats, but out in the blogosphere, it has never been clear whether Daily Candy’s recommendation of a brand of mascara was because that mascara was really fantastic or if the blogger simply got a tube for free. That is all about to change.

This month, the Federal Trade Commission announced new rules aimed at increasing transparency in social media advertising. Starting Dec. 1, bloggers and other users of social media tools, such as Twitter and Facebook, must disclose if they have received any type of payment in exchange for promotion, advertising or endorsement. These rules seem to include in-kind exchanges, free product or good old-fashioned money.

Almost every business has a blog these days. It is a free, easy way to reach existing and potential customers. And there is a lot of trade going on out there in the blogosphere. Bloggers commonly receive gratis products or services in exchange for positive write-ups. Companies who send out free stuff have nothing to lose, because if a blogger doesn’t like their product or service, the blog simply doesn’t review or promote it. And don’t discount the power of blog praise—being featured on some of the more well-known blogs such as Urban Daddy, the Sartorialist or even Perez Hilton can sometimes even trump being one of Oprah’s “Favorite Things.”

In many communities, there is a spider web of connections among successful social media sites. Bloggers tend to know one another, and work together, often conspiring against their loyal readers. But the era of “you scratch my back and I will scratch yours” is over. Bloggers who promote one another for pay, free goods, free services or simply shared promotion now may face significant penalties from the FTC—up to $11,000 per violation.

Some common social media practices that may be affected include anything from writing a positive comment on a Facebook fan page in exchange for a free hat to writing a recommendation for an accountant on LinkedIn for a discount on tax preparation. There are certainly many questions that remain to be answered regarding the enforcement of these penalties. The social media sphere appears to be so vast that it may be difficult for the FTC to effectively enforce these new regulations. But even if the FTC can’t fully police the Wild Wild West of the Internet, there will always be consumer protection groups and professional plaintiffs looking for a deep-pocketed defendant shamelessly shilling products or services for a kickback.

For another thing, it is too soon to tell what type of disclaimer language will satisfy the disclosure requirements. The safest bet is to state in large, bold print that the blog has received free product or is sponsored by a particular vendor, although most advertisers are loath to ruin their copy with such language.

Another approach may be to include language in the footer of the page that the review, promotion or endorsement is paid or sponsored or to include similar language in a “terms of use” statement, buried with all the other legal mumbo-jumbo. Beware of fine print, though: The FTC hates it.

What is clear is that the U.S. government is communicating a strong posture that it will not treat deceptive or misleading online advertising any differently than other forms of advertising. If businesses use blogs and other social media tools to con customers into believing their products or services are being independently reviewed, the risks could far outweigh the returns.

For now, the most prudent way to use social media tools to promote products or services is to be crystal clear if such promotion has been sponsored or paid for in any way. Social media advertisers are going to have to take a wait-and-see approach until a few guinea pigs push the limits of the new rules and learn the hard way. Better them than you. Don’t let your company be an example of what not to do.•

__________

Joseph is an attorney at Hollingsworth & Zivitz PC and former corporate counsel to The Finish Line Inc. She can be reached at hjoseph@hzlegal.com.

Month Ten/Eleven Pics

Ok, so here are the long awaiting Month 10-11 pictures of Oscar and Judah.  I swear I have been taking pictures, I just haven't been uploading them.  As you can see, Judah is definitely on the move and getting into everything.  He has a THING for electrical cords, magazines, remote controls, phones and basically anything else he shouldn't be getting into.  It looks like a Toys R Us threw up in our living room and yet J.J. still goes for the laptop power cord every time.  Also, please don't be alarmed at the fact that Judah's nose appears to be a different color than the rest of his face.  Apparently the orange foods that he loves are changing the color of his skin.  Looks like we need to lay off the carrots!

Also, as you can see, Oscar is very expressive!  He wears his emotions on his sleeve and you can tell exactly what he is thinking by taking one look at him. He keeps his mouth open all the live long day, and I am constantly in fear of a bug flying in there.  He still isn't doing a lot of crawling, and frankly I think he has realized he doesn't have to because Judah will come over to him and bring a toy along!  However, this week Oscar did bite Judah when Judah crawled over and stole his book!  He is a dastardly little fellow!

Finally, enjoy their Colts wear!  They are already proving their devotion to the Horse!

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/OscarAndJudahMonth1011#

New Blog - The Fine Print Lawyer!

Read along on my new blog that is focusing on my legal practice!  Please share with your friends, and help me get the word out!

The Fine Print Lawyer

www.fineprintlawyer.blogspot.com

Month 11 Letter

Dear Oscar and Judah,

You are eleven months old! I think this a great time to not only catalogue all of your recent achievements, but also to take stock of this insane year. Starting with the mundane, you guys are really continuing your journey from babies to boys. Judah, you continue to evolve into your role as the enforcer. Not long after your crawling began, you discovered that you had the balance and the desire to haul yourself up from your knees onto your feet. And now you are pulling up on everything that is within reach. It is hilarious to see you get from your bum to your knees to your feet, especially considering your inability to reverse and get back down. So although you are beyond proud of yourself to get up, you then freak out and scream until someone sets you back safely on your hands and knees.

If Judah is the enforcer, then Oscar continues to evolve into the mastermind. Oscar, your waving bye bye is developing into full on verbal and non verbal communication. It is becoming really evident that you understand everything quite clearly, and that you are frustrated if you can’t make your own desires and needs known. You are also still my emotional little guy, so easily amused, so easily frightened. The siren of a fire truck terrified you today, and the popups from your favorite book elicit endless giggles. Both of you have been so true to form from the day you were born.

This month I have been feeling so reflective. First of all, I am beyond grateful for your health, growth, and your mere presence in our lives. A friend of friend lost her twins this month during a very difficult pregnancy. Sometimes I think we took for granted how lucky we were and continue to be to have you both. You were born with no scary complications and the biggest complaint I could make about the experience relates to my stretch marks and my pregnancy misery. After hearing of our acquaintance’s tragedy, I was reminded to count my blessings more frequently. To our friends, we hope that you are finding comfort in this difficult time, and we are thinking about you. We are so sorry for your loss.

I have also been thinking about what the next year holds. So many things changed so profoundly in the last twelve months. Brent and I became parents. We make our decisions so differently than we used to, from things as simple as where to go to dinner (we are becoming frequent flyers at Red Robin, last year it was Ruth’s Chris), to things with far bigger implications, like deciding to save money and be responsible instead of buys another boho looking sweater from Anthropologie (ok, maybe that doesn’t seem to have big implications, but you haven’t seen my closet…). This year I also started a new job that I adore, and Brent and I are poised to be making some big announcements about King David. Change has been happening fast and furious.

The next month alone is going to be absolutely insane. As I write this, Brent and I returning from another quick getaway to Arizona (without the kiddos, which in retrospect feels like a mistake, I missed them so badly!). We had an amazing time with Uncle Robby and Aunt Marissa though, and I certainly couldn’t have inflicted the liver damage I achieved if I had the midgets in tow. Next weekend we venture to St. Louis for a Colts game and a little gambling. The following weekend we are celebrating Halloween and Brent’s 35^th birthday with an enormous party, complete with tons of Halloween decorations, candy, and tequila. After that I am going to need to sleep for a month. Although I won’t be able to because I only have another thirty days until the boys turn 1!!! If you think I am feeling reflective now, wait until next month.

On another note, a few people have been asking about my job…and it is AMAZING!!! I have never enjoyed working more. While I am infinitely grateful for my experiences at Finish Line and L&K, I can honestly say that this new gig is what I was born to do. My suspicion that there was a need for affordable small business legal services was spot on. I have more work that time to get it accomplished, although that is what great associates and paralegals are for. I absolutely adore the client development aspect of the job, and I spend a good portion of each day making connections and going to networking coffees, lunches and events. It is a lot of schmoozing, and I am sure it comes as no surprise that I like all that socializing. But what I like the most is meeting with people and realizing that I have the tools to help them run their small businesses. It never ceases to amaze me how many great ideas people have and what fantastic innovations people have come up with to make money. I love hearing about those ideas, and doing the legal legwork so that their business can run smoothly. I am always in the hunt for new clients, so please spread the word if you know of anyone looking for an attorney with an entrepreneurial spirit! All of my networking should explain some of the recent blog posts about speaking engagements and guest blogging. I am trying to get a professional blog up and running soon, so hopefully I can keep those two worlds a little more separate so as not to bore those of you who don’t want to hear about the Legal Do’s and Don’ts of Social Media Advertising.

Scottsdale Binge

This past weekend, we quite literally ate our way through Scottsdale and the food was so damn good it warranted a blog post.

The tour began with a trip to Pizzeria Bianco. This is widely considered some of the best pizza in the U.S. and now I know why. We had never been before because it is legendary for its three hour waits and we are usually in Phoenix with my parents. To say that my dad is not a patient man is putting it mildly. But this time, we had the benefit of my sister in law, who as publicist for Lettuce Entertain You, has the ultimate restaurant world hookup. So we got a reservation, a personal greeting from Chris Bianco and access to some damn good pizza. It was nothing fancy (no crazy toppings like pistachios and tuna fish) but instead just delicious wood fired crust that was somehow crispy and chewy at the same time, topped with the best of the best cheese, mouthwatering sauce and top notch meats. The salami was like the filet mignon of pepperoni. The fennel in the sausage was so fragrant, I can still smell it on my shirt.

The next night we ventured to Binkleys after a quick jaunt to the Four Seasons for a few drinks on the deck overlooking where Brent and I got married. Best of all, we ran into our fabu wedding planner Blair, and she bought all of our drinks! Such a nice treat. Ok, now back to the food, Binkleys is located in Cave Creek and it was a very random find. It is fine dining in a very casual atmosphere. The restaurant itself is nothing amazing to look at, but the food is quite literally the most inventive we have ever had. We had about 16 courses, which I will try and recount as best as my wine addled brain can recall.

Black Pepper Breadsticks with Serrano Ham Cream

Homemade Pepperoni

Beads of Frozen Watermelon

Cream of Cauliflower Soup

Shaved Shortrib with Garlic Toast Curls

Roasted Pork Belly with Homemade Skillet Cornbread (Pork belly is a fancy word for bacon, and I consider it proof of God)

Puree of Mortadella and Cheese

Mango Sorbet

Foie Gras Beignets (Yes, you read that right, doughnuts stuffed with Foie)

Plum cavier in a fruit consommé

French Fries in 12 dipping sauces, including truffle ketchup

Deconstructed Cassoulet (it had lamb brain, which was about the only thing I didn’t eat)

Mini Chocolate Souffle

Homemade lime lollipops

Cherry Soda with Vanilla Dippin Dots

Trio of Croquettes (again, friend dough) filled with chocolate, rice pudding and ricotta cheese

Some dried flower that had been powdered – It turned our mouths numb. It was like a narcotic.

All of those course were part of the tasting menu. If you are in North Scottsdale, you simply have to go to this restaurant. It will be one of the most unique dining experiences you ever have.

Gallo Blanco – This was our best lunch. We took Robby and Marissa to the airport and stopped at this little local cantina that is located in a revitalized hotel called that Hotel Clarendon. Brent had a carne asada torta topped with avocado, salsa and two over easy eggs. I had the same without the eggs. We also enjoyed a cheese chicharon, which I could basically describe as a giant parmesan crisp. The guac had oranges in it. The place was outrageously good.

On Saturday night we went to Rokerij – This sharp little watering hole was a meat-centric heaven. We had salt crusted prime rib sliders, roast pork loin tacos and a roasted garlic plate that ranks up there with one of the best things I have ever eaten. It was three cloves of elephant garlic roasted for hour and placed on a sizzling platter of cheese, peppers, onions and an array of sauces along with chewy, buttery toast points. My breath still stinks, but it was worth it.

The piece de resistance was Roka Akor on Sunday night – This Japanese restaurant knocks Nobu off its block. Inventive sushi, serves along a robato grill with a sochu bar (like Japanese fruit infused vodka). Between the Serrano hamachi roll to the soy butter grilled sweet corn, it was definitely a meal to remember. Brent even ate a steak tartar sushi roll. It is also must if you are visiting Scottsdale.

As you can see, we ate a LOT on our trip. Scottsdale really is a first class dining city. The fact that my jeans are so tight proves it.

Another Guest Blog Post

Click here to read about my experience with the Indiana Business Ownership Initiative: http://womensfund.blogspot.com/

With all this guest blogging, it is no wonder I haven't been updating my personal blog very much! Month 11 letter and pics coming soon!

Guest Blog Spot - Is your blog safe??

Please check out my recent blog post for Kyle Lacy at BrandSwag: http://kylelacy.com/

Month 10 Letter - Long Overdue!

Dear Oscar and Judah,

I should really be calling this the month 10 and 1/2 letter, because that is what you are. I have been so busy at work lately, I just haven't had time to update. Curses billable hours!

Anyway, it has been quite a month around here. The biggest development is that Judah, you are fully crawling. You have a fairly traditional style, moving one leg and arm at a time. What is crazy is that you are fast and you have designs of being a very bad boy! Even though our living room is quite literally littered with toys, all you want to do is put the electrical cords in your mouth and knock over the speakers. I think this does not bode well.

Oscar, you had a brief foray into waving bye bye, although because it only lasted about a day, and no one besides Heidi really saw it, I think that you just happened to be flexing your little chubby hand at the exact same time as I said "wave bye bye!" So this developmental milestone appears to be purely coincidental, as was the time that you looked right at me and said "MAMA!" But seeing as I am a true to form first time mom, I will take what I can get.

On the sippy cup front, Judah continues to adore his and we have virtually phased out the bottle. Oscar, you are a stubborn little monkey and you simply will not tolerate this mode of formula delivery. Every day I patiently pour a little bit of formula in the sippy cup and place it on your highchair tray and every day you throw it on the floor and patiently wait for me to give in and give you your bottle. I am fully and hopelessly trained. You have impressed me with your single mindedness and sense of purpose, however, again, this does not bode well. I think we are now in day 46 of what will be known as "The Sippy Cup Strike."

In the past month, we celebrated your first Rosh Hashonah. It was a big deal because we brought you up on the Bimah of our synagogue to recite a prayer. Unfortunately, we weren't really able to recite the prayer very well because Judah, you insisted on eating the card on which the prayer was printed. My sister and mom were laughing so hard at this turn of events that I think one of them might actually have cackled. Nonetheless, we paraded you up there and everyone ooohed and ahhed over your adorable little faces. It sure beat last year when someone actually said to me "I can't believe how big you are!" Have I ever mentioned that I hated being pregnant?

We are rounding the corner on your first year, which is just unbelievable. As a result, because of the fact that you were born in the midst of about 20 other babies, we are celebrating a lot of first birthdays around here. In fact, you attended Julia Turow's party at My Gym, where you discovered the magic that is the ball pit. Unfortunately, due to your girth and lack of surface area, you sort of sunk to the bottom. Thankfully for Daddy (who went with Jamie as my proxy) there was plenty of beer. Note to self, must serve booze at your upcoming birthday party.

The only other development to mention is that Judah, you have officially discovered grabbing your, shall we say, junk. Changing a diaper has become virtually impossible, and we have had more than one instance where you go to grab your bits and pieces and there has been a poop event, which results in poop hands. Readers, you can imagine what happens next, poop hands go everywhere, including the walls, Judah's hair, mouth, my shirt...the disgusting possibilities are endless. Being a parent is fun, but sometimes really, really, really gross.

Month ten pics to follow including first photos of the Joseph boys in Colts gear!

Punta de Mita Pictures

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/PuntaDeMita2009#

Hola!

Greetings from Mexico! Today is our last full day, and I thought you might enjoy hearing a bit more about our trip.

We have been here two full days. I can sum the first day up as saying three words: TOO MUCH SUN. It is 95 and cloudless and we got fried. Brent was in far worse shape than I was. But, we survived and really did have a lovely day.

As always, Brent and I wind up being the social directors of the trip and we have made friends with two couples. The first are fellow MOTs from Ft. Worth. Their names are Gavin and Emily and they are really fun. They actually remind me quite a bit of Brendan and Emily, even down to the fact that Gavin is an anesthesiologist and Emily is very into fitness. We also met Greg and Heather, who just moved from Seattle to the O.C. Greg is a software developer who used to work for XBOX 360 and now is at Blizzard, which created World of Warcraft, only the most popular video game in the world. For Brent, it was like meeting a celebrity. They have talked technology gobbledygook for two full days. Heather is a doll, loves shoes, and wore Manohols to her wedding, so she is like a celebrity to me too.

Yesterday morning, we woke up and got a bed on the beach. Yep, you read that right, a bed. It was absolutely stunning. I felt like I was sitting in the middle of a Corona commercial. After we got maxed out on the sun and I finished the most amazing Mexican burger (topped with avocado, jalepenos and bacon) we found our way to the lazy river where we floated for about two hours with micheladas in hand. Micheladas are these amazing drinks with beer, salt, lime juice and ice. Heaven, even for a non beer drinker.

After the lazy river, I talked the GM of the hotel into doing a free tequila tasting for us. They do them on Saturdays and Wednesdays and since we would have missed them both because of the timing of our trip, they did one just for our posse. (At the Four Seasons, everything is possible...I think if I asked for a Krispy Kreme doughnut, it would arrive with a bow at my door). So, anyway, Brent basically drank all the tequila, as I could barely smell it, even the good stuff that was priced as if it was aged by Montezuma himself.

After the tequila tasting, we ventured into town where we had an amazing dinner on the beach at this little restaurant called Tinos. We had the whole group with us and aside from the fact that it felt as if we were in a schvitz, it was awesome. Brent got a seafood platter with so many fruits of the sea, it was borderline disgusting. The girls both got 2 lb lobsters and we all had lots of wine, beer, and tequila. The bill was $120/couple. Gotta love Mexico. In the states, Brent´s dinner alone would have been at least $100. After that, Brent didn´t want to call it a night (shocking) and so we wrangled up some beers and went nightswimming. Of course, Brent had to shanghai a golf cart along the way, and I think we might be the first people to ever risk getting tossed from a Four Seasons.

Brent is struggling today, but I feel peachy. I am going to go camp out on the beachy bed for a while and then later I have a massage.

Did I mention that we miss our kids? We do, I promise. Man, it is nice to sleep in, have no responsibilities, and just relax. But I cannot wait to see those little faces. They change so much, so fast, I am afraid they will practically be strangers when we get home. For the first time ever, I really have something to look forward coming home to (no offense to Kiva and Walter!)

On to Mexico!

Tomorrow morning Brent and I are leaving for our first trip without the boys. We have both taken some time away individually, but this is the first time that we are both leaving them for more than one night. The last time I really parked it on a beach was when I went to Miami with Emily eight weeks after the boys were born. That trip is a haze, mostly because I think I spent the majority of the time there using my breast pump. I think any trip taken with a pump shouldn't count as a vacation.

Needless to say, I am really nervous. Typically, on the eve of a trip like this, I am crawling out of my skin I am so excited, but right now, all I feel is anxious. I know the boys are going to be in great hands with our nanny Heidi. In fact, sometimes I think she is better equipped to handle them both than either Brent or I. But that doesn't make me feel any better.

The truth is, I really need this getaway. I don't think I have even realized how hard I am working. Between the new job and balancing all my other responsibilities, sometimes I feel like I am literally moving, doing, rushing, and worrying from the second I open my eyes until the second I collapse into bed, with Chelsea Handler on in the background, wearing whatever god-awful creation her stylist dreamed up.

But I am not sure what scares me more: the prospect of being terribly lonesome for the kiddos or the realistic fear that I won't miss the boys as much as I should! Either way, we are en route tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. I suspect that I will return, suntanned (ok, burned), with a semi-functioning liver, well rested, and desperate to cuddle Oscar and J.J.

Happy Labor Day everyone!

New Blog Post - Different Blog

So, I have been doing some guest blogging lately. Here is a recent post for the Women's Fund Blog.

Click here: http://womensfund.blogspot.com/

Month Nine Pictures

Somehow I screwed up uploading all these pics, so they are in two separate albums.

Yes, these were taken with a regular digital camera. Heidi not only is the best nanny ever, but she is also very artistic and happens to have the coolest camera

ever!

Judah certainly doesn't look anything like his dad, does he?

Enjoy the rest:

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/9Months#

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/MonthNinePhotos#

Month Nine Letter

Dear Oscar and Judah,

How is it possible? Nine months! You have now officially been outside of my belly as long as you were in. I can tell you one thing definitively - the last nine months have gone a helluva lot faster than while you were cooking!

Every month I feel like I have so many changes to report and this month is no different. First of all, welcome to the wonderful world of real food! We have started making the slow transition from strained orange goo to solids like turkey, pancakes, mangoes and pasta. Tonight you are going to behold all the wonder of pizza! Judah, you are basically a pig. You eat everything and anything we put in front of you. What is even more amazing is that you are very independant and have already mastered feeding yourself. If I put twenty puffs on the tray of your high chair, next thing I know, they disappear! I suspect that only about 20% of them are making it into your mouth, and the rest are landing on the floor. Kiva and Walter are very grateful for the donations!

Oscar, you are still insisting that we feed you, although I think it is all just a ruse. We sit there patiently placing itty bitty pieces of grub into your open mouth, like a little bird, waiting to be fed. What is even more suspicious is that you recline, very relaxed, while we do all the work. I think you have basically trained us. Good job.

We have also introduced the sippy cup. Again, Judah, you have fully embraced this new mode of transfer and you grab the cup the instant it is placed in front of you. You chug a lug quickly and then smack your lips with a satisfied "ahh" when you are done. It is nothing short of darling. Oscar, you are currently on a sippy cup strike, and I suspect that we will have to be fairly persistent to get you on board. In the long run you will thank me. I don't think you intend to drink beer from a baby bottle.

In other developmental news, Oscar you are clearly going to be our verbal kid. You chatter all day long making all sorts of bababab, dadada, gagaga noises. You have full on conversations in your baby language and I think it won't be long until we completely understand one another. You are definitely working hard at mocking and emulating the gestures and sounds that your Dad and I make. You are very social and continue to be very emotional. I can't imagine who you get those qualities from?

Judah, you continue to be very physical. You have been on the brink of crawling and I think we have finally gotten to the other side of that milestone. You haven't quite mastered going forward, but you do a bang up job scootching backwards. You also have mastered an interesting style of going around in a circle. Basically your knees and feet stay stationary, while you move your arms and upper body around, kind of like a baby protractor. All the while you look at me with an expression that I interpret to mean "I wanna go forward! Why is there only side to side and reverse on this thing?"

We have childproofed the entire house in anticipation of your mobility, or what I have come to imagine as "The End of Days." As much as I have been anxious for you two to hit all your developmental milestones on time, I have come to realize how terrifying it is going to be once you are on the move. Our house is full of little knickknacks, electrical cords, stacks of mail, and all the other accouterments of adult living which I have come to realize are fraught with danger for babies. I am constantly trying to balance my fears of you guys electrocuting, cutting, or smooshing yourselves against the realistic need to keep our home functioning. For example, we had child locks placed on all our drawers and cabinets in the kitchen. We got the kind that are magnetic and therefore need a little key to open them. Yeah, that is SUPER annoying. Can you imagine trying to unload the dishwasher and having to unlock every cabinet and drawer as you put things away? I don't know if Daddy and I have the patience for this baby proofing thing. We might end up just locking away all the chemicals and meds and installing the gates and then rolling the dice. Stay tuned to hear how that turns out...

We have lots of big stuff coming up in the next couple of weeks. Daddy and I are going on our first full blown, kid free vacation in Puerta Vallarta. I am really curious to see how that goes. I suspect it will be something like this "Gee, I really miss the boys and I wonder what they are doing today. Can you please get me another Rum Runner? Thanks." In all seriousness, I haven't been away from you guys for four nights before and I think I am going to miss you desperately. Let's make a deal: You promise not to do anything new while I am gone and I will promise not to bring back swine flu. No? Ok, well, I guess it was worth a try.

We also have our first Rosh Hashonah this year and we have the distinct honor of participating in the blessing of the whole congregation for new babies. I am still shopping for the right outfit for this occasion. After all, this is my chance to show you off to all your prospective in-laws! We need to make the right impression on those hot little one year olds. And I need to find just the right pair of Spanx for myself to create the illusion that I have lost all my baby weight. Jews on the high holidays are a tough crowd.

Most importantly, Colts season is upon us! Daddy and I cannot wait to get going on our fantasy leagues again (remember, you guys were my good luck charms last year, I won TWO leagues!). And, best of all, we get to put you in your first Colts jerseys! We cannot wait to see you sporting No. 18!

Month Nine Pics to follow!

Month Eight Pictures

Click here for lots of smiles: http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/OscarAndJudahMonthEight#

Month Eight Letter

Dear Oscar and Judah,

Your dad and I are generally under the impression that we are not having any more kids. We always said we wanted two, and now that we have such a perfect little family, it is hard to imagine changing it in any way. There are lots of reasons that we think of when explaining why we are "done." For example, a family of four can always get seated quickly in a restaurant. We have four Colts seats. And most importantly, there are two of you and two of us, so we as parents will never be outnumbered.

In all seriousness, the best part of having two kids at the same time is also the worst - That each phase of your childhood only happens once. For the bad stuff, this is quite handy. Only one period of infancy (and not sleeping more than three hours at a time), teething, terrible twos, zit faced, angry adolescence, and saving for college. But for the good stuff, it seems like I am getting cheated a little. I hate that you will only be babies for such a short time, one first birthday, one first ice cream cone, one bar mitzvah, one first school dance, one first date, that I can only teach you to drive once (maybe your dad would be better suited for that task, considering my driving record). And your age right now makes me want to stop time.

You are becoming autonomous beings. This morning we plopped you on the couch and you both could hold your own bottles. Oscar, you figured out how to maneuver the bottle into your little mouth first, and Judah followed soon after. Feeding you guys has been the biggest commitment, by far, of time, energy and resources. The fact that you are starting to understand how to handle that basic survival instinct yourselves is nothing short of amazing to me. Judah, you have even taken things a step further, and have started feeding yourself finger foods. I love the look of shock mixed with pride on your little face when you can grasp a puff off the tray of the high chair and actually deposit it in your mouth. And talk about positive reinforcement, every time you succeed in getting a morsel of food in your mouth, it just makes you want to try again. I suspect you will be dipping french fries in ketchup before we know it.

Your play is more self directed now too. We have all figured out that you are your own best toys. If I sit you guys on the floor facing each other, you can provide each other with plenty of entertainment. You are laughing at each other, having babbling conversations, and even getting frustrated or tired together. True to Joseph and Kaufman form, you are also already fighting with each other. It doesn't matter if I put twenty toys in front of you, both of you only want the toy in the other's hands. It is hilarious and fascinating.

All in all, I am beginning to understand that parenting twins (and probably all kids) changes the meaning of time and memories. I don't want to get all existential here, but sometimes when I watch you, I realize that memories are being made as we speak, and I feel a sort of instant nostalgia. If time never went more slowly when I was pregnant, it never went faster than since you have been born.

For balance, I think I will finish this post with a good old fashioned story about poop. Brent and I have been dying to see The Hangover. Our friend Jonathan Baer offered to babysit the boys while we ran out to see it one weeknight evening. Bear in mind, (haha, no pun intended) that Baer (get it?) has never babysat for anyone or anything before, not even a neighbor's plant. However, he has joined us frequently for "Freeloaders Sunday" where we feed all our stray single guy friends on Sunday nights. And Baer has really become a part of the Joseph clan lately, coming over for lots of meals, drinks and good times. We love hanging out with him and he is very helpful with the babies. That being said, we figured we would put the boys to bed and then all Baer would have to do was sit on the couch and watch some bad TV (he has an unusual affinity for Real Housewives of NJ). But that wasn't exactly how things turned out.

Not fifteen minutes after we left, Baer called Brent in a panic. Judah had pooped. (Which is quite out of character for him, he usually does his business in the morning, like his dad...) And we are talking a MAJOR breach here. Out the diaper, up his back, EVERYWHERE. Brent had to walk Baer through the whole debacle. And remember, this is a man who had never changed a diaper in his life. But he got through it like a champ, and he got a fifth of Jack as a reward. And as an unintended benefit, when Baer told all his female co-workers about his adventures in babysitting, he got major brownie points! He is welcome back anytime.

Misshapen Head and Nasal Aspirators

People say the most amazing things. Yesterday, I noticed that my neighbor and her daughter were playing on our playset in our backyard. Now, this playset is going largely unused since obviously the boys are too small to enjoy it and Brent is too big (except when he is drunk, which is another story altogether).

I noticed that this neighbor was also with another woman and her kid. I went out to say hello and introduce myself. Immediately both little girls started begging to see our babies. Now, I am slightly uncomfortable about inviting people into the house, especially considering we have two HUGE dogs and that tends to freak people out. I also don't love having company without getting a chance to hide the stacks of clutter and papers that tend to accumulate. But I felt like I couldn't say no. So we all trooped into the house to show off Oscar and J.J.

As soon as the neighbor's friend (we'll call her Nosy Rosie) walked into our house, she took an appraising look around. She then glanced at Judah and said, "I know this isn't any of my business, but you know how Judah's head is long, especially for his body? Well, they make helmets that can correct that." I stared at her for a full beat, making sure I just heard what I thought I heard. I then said to her, as calmly as I could, "I think Judah's head is fine. It is shaped just like his dad's. She then repeated that it could be fixed, and that her niece wore a helmet to reshape her head and now she has a lovely round head.

Come the fuck on. It was all I could do not to ask her to get the hell out of my house. In this age of botox, lipo, collagen, and electrolysis (even for pre-pubescent girls), it appears there are no limits on the cosmetic requirements of life. Judah's head is a normal shape. It doesn't need correction, and even if it did, it wouldn't be on the advice and counsel of someone I met eighteen seconds ago. Where do people come up with this shit?

This isn't the first time I have been aghast at the things people say to me. Of course it started when I was pregnant ("How much weight have you gained?"), but it didn't end there. In fact, over race weekend, we hosted a friend of a friend (let's call her Sally, although her name has been changed to protect the, ahem, innocent). That night, pursuant to Murphy's Law, Judah cried ALL NIGHT. I was an absolute wreck, running up and down the stairs all night trying to quiet and comfort him, agonizing that the three house guests in the basement were poised to dial child protective services, or at the very least, were pulling their hair out at his endless screams.

What they didn't know, is that occasionally Judah just tests our limits. He is just going to be that kind of kid. He wants to know whether he can find a way out of his crib. And that night, every time I picked him up, he started smiling and laughing at me. But when I put him back down, the hysterics resumed.

During one of these interludes, as I was on my way out of bed, I was accosted by Sally. She walked into our bedroom, at 3:00 a.m., without knocking. She then asked if she could feed my baby. As if I was neglecting him. As if she knew better what he needed than I did. It was HORRIFYING. Again, it was all I could do not to throw her out on the street then and there. Instead I calmly explained that he is six months old and hasn't had a bottle overnight in three months. I informed her we had the situation under control, thanks so much. Judah eventually settled down. Clearly I have not.

Sidebar, Sally also "allegedly" helped herself to the four nasal aspirators that we had rightfully purloined from the hospital for use with her own kid. She was amazed we had those aspirators (they are the good ones, and you can't buy then anywhere), and she kept talking about them. About a week later, we realized they were all missing.

Coincidence? I think not. So, now we have no nasal aspirators, and a kid with a misshapen head. The next time someone says something like that to me, they are the ones that are going to need a helmet.

Month Seven Pictures!

Check out the cuteness!

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/7Months02?authkey=Gv1sRgCPjW56S0ofP9fg#

Personality Conflict

Lots of people have been asking me lately about the boys' personalities and how they differ. The answer is that they are so very unlike one another. The first thing to remember is that all twins are unique individuals. Even the most identical twins have very different personalities. But with fraternal twins, such as Oscar and Judah, they are no more similar than any other set of brothers, and so aside from the fact that they were in residence in my belly together, they have no genetic similarities that would indicate similar personality traits.

Ok, so now that we got the boring science disclaimer out of the way, we can get to the good stuff. Basically it appears that Oscar and Judah couldn't be more different. Oscar is emotional, pure and simple. He is very quick to laugh and even quicker to cry. Sometimes is seems like there is a very fine line between tears and laughter. Oscar is easily scared. Even sometimes when Nini (Brent's mom) gets up in his face to say hello, he freaks out. Oscar is also very jealous, and has demonstrated a penchant for sibling rivalry from a very young age. If someone would hold Judah and leave Oscar in his Bouncearoo (the greatest invention ever, as it provides a safe place for me to neglect my kids) he would go from contently bouncing away to hysterically crying. He is a envious little thing. And he is easily sated or distracted. He can change gears on a dime, depending on what enticement is provided. Give the kid a toy, or a treat, and all that ails him is forgotten or forgiven. His needs are easy to understand and even easier to meet. All in all, I think Oscar is born to wear his heart on his sleeve, good, bad or otherwise.

Judah on the other hand is a serious, thoughtful little guy. He loves to sit and take the world in. He even folds his hands together, a la Mr. Burns, as if he is plotting global domination. Judah is hard to read. His expressions are like a little old man. He looks as if he is judging you, and at the very least he is sizing you up. Judah does not cry easily, but when he does, he means business. And there is no way to stop him from crying. He cannot be distracted by a shiny toy or a silly song. The only way to stop the tears is to fix whatever problem is making him unhappy. In this way, Judah is far more demanding than Oscar. He won't nap until he is good and ready, if he is hungry, there is no delaying the meal, and if he wants to be held, he will not be denied! And Judah doesn't smile easily. You simply have to earn it - but when you do, it is the most transcendent expression. Judah's dimples could melt anyone's heart. It is almost as if he has a tough exterior that covers a warm chocolate center

The most fun part about the boys having different personalities is that it really drives home the point that you are who you are. From birth. They are being raised in identical environments (again, like having a "control" group in a study) and yet they are turning out to be such different people. It really demonstrates how the nature vs. nurture argument plays out. And it is also reminds me that some characteristics really are immutable.

Oscar is emotional, and I think that he might just be like that the rest of his life. And I am very sensitive to that particular personality trait, because (big shocker here) I share it. And I was always under the vague impression that I was emotional because I was tormented as a kid; that I was a "cry baby" because my sisters were hard on me; that I had large personality swings because my life was crazy. But now I am beginning to think that I was simply born this way. And since I was born this way, there is nothing to be ashamed of, there should be no stigma, and being emotional is no more subject to change than your height. Judah's personality gives me some insight into Brent's character. I should be less impatient with Brent's demanding nature; he was also born that way. His mom loves to tell stories about his tantrums at the top of the stairs in his childhood home. The man wants what he wants and will not rest until he gets what he wants...remind you of anyone I have described?

The logical conclusion to this hypothesis is that people are not capable of change. However, I don't think it is that clear cut. The truth is, I think people are capable of little changes. Brent is demanding, but he has learned in our marriage that he doesn't always get what he wants (he no longer expects to control the remote, eat sushi twice a week, etc.). But in the big picture, Brent still is essentially tough on the outside, wonderful on the inside, and very considered in his estimations of people. Similarly, as emotional as I am, I have learned to try and control those impulses so as not to perplex and alienate my loved ones. I simply can't take Brent on my personality roller coaster, because he can't handle it. So I try to keep it as even keel as possible. But happy or sad, I feel those emotions keenly, and express myself accordingly. I can't help it. So it looks as if we already know a lot about Oscar and Judah, and interestingly enough, they have showed us a lot about ourselves.

Blogging Guilt and Month Seven Letter

First off, I am really struggling with writing this blog. I really miss it, but at times it also feels a bit like homework. All day long I think of things that I want to say on the blog, but I just can't seem to find the time to update. I guess that is what happens when you have two kids, a job, a husband, two dogs, and a fat ass that I am desperately trying to make smaller. So, please bear with me as I try to be more consistent about updating.

Dear Oscar and J.J.

You are seven months old. How the hell did that happen? I cannot believe the little people you have become. All of the sudden you are no longer helpless little creatures that cry all the time and instead have been replaced by funny little boys, complete with personalities, likes, and dislikes.

In the last two months, you have reached a ton of milestones. You are sitting up on your own, flipping over all the time, and eating real food! Oscar, you are a fresser (Yiddish for little piggy) and you love everything we put in front of you. You are a big fan of Hawaiian Delight (good choice, I love everything tropical too) and you went to town on a strawberry. You put everything in your mouth, so I wouldn't be surprised if you ate a shoe if it were given to you. Judah, you appear to be more picky - and strangely enough, you appear to prefer veggies over fruits. Kiddo, you are making a big mistake there. Sweet stuff is ALWAYS better than vegetables. I will be sure to teach you all about the value of doughnuts someday. You just couldn't be my kid if you picked sweet potatoes instead of something junky and wonderful, like chocolate. I simply won't have it.

Judah, you are also on the brink of being mobile. You have started scooting around backwards. I know it is only a short matter of time before you are getting into everything. And as much as I am anxious for you to hit your developmental benchmarks, I am terrified of you being able to move independently. I think that might mean the end of my tacit neglect. No longer will I be able to sit you in the middle of the room, assured that I can run to the bathroom, check my email or pour a glass of wine and you will still be right where I left you. Once you guys both start crawling I will commence chasing you. And I fear that chase won't end until you leave for college. Sigh. I am tired just thinking about it.

Oscar, as much as Judah is about to crawl, it seems that you are about to talk. No, I don't think you are even close to saying "mellifluous" or any other impressive bon mot, but I think you are quite close to say Da Da Da, which I consider equally exciting. You have been a verbal little thing since the day you were born, and I suspect that you will continue being our talker. I wonder where you get your loquacious qualities from?

I know it seems that I am comparing the two of you a lot, and really I am trying not to. But look at it this way: every mom spends a good deal of her time comparing her kid to others the same age. I can hardly go to lunch with another mommy friend without us comparing every drooly moment and minuscule milestone. And you guys are growing up right next to each other. Your pediatrician calls you a little science experiment. Really, you guys are an amazing example of nature vs. nurture. You are being raised in an identical environment, with identical conditions, and you could not be more different. Oscar is blond, fair, and blue-eyed. Judah is dark, olive, and well, Jewish. Oscar's feet turn out, Judah's turn in. Oscar is developmentally advanced cognitively, Judah is developmentally advanced physically (you are both on pace in all categories). Oscar is emotional, Judah tends to be serious. Oscar is great sleeper, and Judah, well, isn't. The differences are endless. And we feel so lucky that you are both "on the spectrum of normal" and teaching us every day about how different you are and how important it is to treat you as individuals.

But as individual as you are, you are both my little men. I adore you. Happy seven month birthday!

Love,

Mama and Dada (dammit! Why is it that the Daddy is always gets named first! One of life's biggest injustices).

The Cupid Shuffle...

Check out the skillz:

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/RecentlyUpdated?feat=email#5347723822657015394

New Pics!

Here are some fun pics of Oscar and J.J. from Month Six. If you have Facebook, you have probably already seen most of these. Month Six letter to the boys on its way, pretty darn close to Month Seven. Oh well.

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/OscarAndJudahMonthSix#

By Request...

First and foremost, for the six of you out there that are actually reading my blog, I am so sorry for not posting.  I think I have heard from all six of you and it appears that you are sick of seeing no updates.  So, this post is to fill you guys in on the miscellaneous stuff going on in my life and I will also put up the six month letter to the boys and some new pics this week.  I am sorry I am so behind!

Let's cover the somewhat mundane stuff first.  As some of you may know, I have accepted a new job!  I was due to return to Finish Line on June first, on a part time basis.  I have been on a VERY extended maternity leave (six full months) because of the contracting economy. Apparently, Finish Line, as a billion dollar company, felt it was critical to the legal budget to forgo my piddly salary for an additional three months, so I was furloughed.  During that time, I continued to talk to my good friend Kena Hollingsworth about joining her firm, Hollinsworth, Sever, Storey and Zivitz.  A little background: they are an up and coming small firm, with family law roots, that is beginning to offer a wider range of legal services.  We have been discussing me coming on board for ages and starting a business/entrepreneurial services practice and finally the time is right!  So, on Monday (yes, tomorrow) I will be launching my new private practice venture as an attorney with HSSZ!

I cannot tell you how excited I am about this new opportunity.  I have always dreamed of combining my practical experience of starting a business with my legal in-house skills.  I will be building a practice doing business work at a very affordable rate - I hope to serve small business owners and entrepreneurs who need high quality legal work on contracts, leases, disputes etc. but cannot afford large firm prices (who are typically the only attorneys offering these types of services).  Think of it as in-house legal services for people who could never afford an in-house lawyer.  I will update this blog with my new contact information as soon I have it finalized. Please think of me if you know anyone with business related legal needs!  In the meantime, the website is www.severstorey.com.

To make matters even better, HSSZ is going to be a great personal fit for me!  It is very laid back, flexible environment full of lovely, intelligent, hard-working people.  And it is literally around the corner from my house.  They are moving to a new space in about six weeks that is just another five minutes away.  My days shlepping out to the ghetto and eating fast food in my car on my lunch hour are OVER!!  YAY!!! 

I am so thrilled that I get to combine work and parenting.  This has been so agonizing for me.  I am beyond lucky to have incredible child care (in fact, sometimes I suspect Heidi might be a better parent than I am), and I have been very conflicted about returning to work.  This is not a unique quandary, so I won't bore you with the intricacies of my over-analyzing.  But, suffice it to say, eight months is a very long time to not work.  But I cannot express what a pleasure it has been to spend so much time with Oscar and Judah.  I have been able to cuddle with the boys all day (and escape for a couple of hours too).  I have watched them grow before my very eyes.  I have not missed a single milestone.  When something fun happens, I can be there, even if I am not home (sometimes I have had to surrender the spoils of a trip to Target to dash home for an Oscar laugh attack or Judah rolling over, what a small price to pay!).   I have loved the freedom and flexibility of being a full time parent with a full time nanny.  So this is how the other half lives.  

For the last four years, I have spent an exorbitant amount of time fantasizing about not working. As much as I have enjoyed spending so much time with the boys, and having the time to work out every day (Ok, most days.  Fine...some days), I have realized that staying at home is not for me.  The expression idle hands are a devil's playground could not be more apt: 

Exhibit A - Shopping.  What the hell is there to do all day if you don't work?  Even if I don't leave the house, the Internet beckons.  And because I am not working and we have two mortgages be due to the fact that we STILL haven't sold our old home yet, this was a very dangerous diversion.  I have spent a ridiculous amount of time in Old Navy and I have returned so many ridiculous tops and accessories that I have been flagged as a "return policy abuser."  This is the equivalent of being tagged with a retail scarlet letter.  Oy. 

Exhibit B - General Sloth.  Every morning we get up with the boys at 7:00 a.m. for their first feeding.  But, because I have nowhere to go, I frequently returned to the comfy confines of my bed.  Again, back in the days of working 50-60 hours a week, this was a fantasy that I dreamed of with greater frequency than dreaming about winning Powerball or Phish coming back from hiatus (dreams come true!).  Anyway, going back to bed every day is a delightful double edged sword.  The associated guilt is practically debilitating.  Every morning I would watch Brent get dressed and have somewhere to go, and I would actually be jealous.  Apparently I am just not designed to be a woman of leisure.  I blame my parents.  They made me so ambitious I can't even sleep in when I have nowhere to go.  Jerks. 

Exhibit C - Alcoholism.  See Exhibit B.  Wouldn't you drink more frequently when you can sleep in every day?  My liver hurts. 

I am certain that once the stresses of my professional life re-assert themselves, I will be longing for these lazy days.  But enough is enough.  Even if it is just for my finances.  Clearly, regardless of my account balance, I can't stop shopping.  So I guess I need to get back to work.  And if I have to go back to work, it might as well be with awesome people, taking on a new and exciting challenge, with a 1 mile commute.  

I know you are jealous.  To rub it in, I went to Carb Day at the track with my new co-workers last week.  We rolled in style - a huge Hummer limo, with a police escort.  My only job was not to get too drunk and make a bad impression on my new co-workers.  Yeah, misson: failed.  Ah well, at least everyone else seemed to be half in the bag too.  

Stay tuned for future posts about Judah and Oscar and all their amazing milestones, and our ridiculous weekend in Chicago.