Ok, so now that we got the boring science disclaimer out of the way, we can get to the good stuff. Basically it appears that Oscar and Judah couldn't be more different. Oscar is emotional, pure and simple. He is very quick to laugh and even quicker to cry. Sometimes is seems like there is a very fine line between tears and laughter. Oscar is easily scared. Even sometimes when Nini (Brent's mom) gets up in his face to say hello, he freaks out. Oscar is also very jealous, and has demonstrated a penchant for sibling rivalry from a very young age. If someone would hold Judah and leave Oscar in his Bouncearoo (the greatest invention ever, as it provides a safe place for me to neglect my kids) he would go from contently bouncing away to hysterically crying. He is a envious little thing. And he is easily sated or distracted. He can change gears on a dime, depending on what enticement is provided. Give the kid a toy, or a treat, and all that ails him is forgotten or forgiven. His needs are easy to understand and even easier to meet. All in all, I think Oscar is born to wear his heart on his sleeve, good, bad or otherwise.
Judah on the other hand is a serious, thoughtful little guy. He loves to sit and take the world in. He even folds his hands together, a la Mr. Burns, as if he is plotting global domination. Judah is hard to read. His expressions are like a little old man. He looks as if he is judging you, and at the very least he is sizing you up. Judah does not cry easily, but when he does, he means business. And there is no way to stop him from crying. He cannot be distracted by a shiny toy or a silly song. The only way to stop the tears is to fix whatever problem is making him unhappy. In this way, Judah is far more demanding than Oscar. He won't nap until he is good and ready, if he is hungry, there is no delaying the meal, and if he wants to be held, he will not be denied! And Judah doesn't smile easily. You simply have to earn it - but when you do, it is the most transcendent expression. Judah's dimples could melt anyone's heart. It is almost as if he has a tough exterior that covers a warm chocolate center
The most fun part about the boys having different personalities is that it really drives home the point that you are who you are. From birth. They are being raised in identical environments (again, like having a "control" group in a study) and yet they are turning out to be such different people. It really demonstrates how the nature vs. nurture argument plays out. And it is also reminds me that some characteristics really are immutable.
Oscar is emotional, and I think that he might just be like that the rest of his life. And I am very sensitive to that particular personality trait, because (big shocker here) I share it. And I was always under the vague impression that I was emotional because I was tormented as a kid; that I was a "cry baby" because my sisters were hard on me; that I had large personality swings because my life was crazy. But now I am beginning to think that I was simply born this way. And since I was born this way, there is nothing to be ashamed of, there should be no stigma, and being emotional is no more subject to change than your height. Judah's personality gives me some insight into Brent's character. I should be less impatient with Brent's demanding nature; he was also born that way. His mom loves to tell stories about his tantrums at the top of the stairs in his childhood home. The man wants what he wants and will not rest until he gets what he wants...remind you of anyone I have described?
The logical conclusion to this hypothesis is that people are not capable of change. However, I don't think it is that clear cut. The truth is, I think people are capable of little changes. Brent is demanding, but he has learned in our marriage that he doesn't always get what he wants (he no longer expects to control the remote, eat sushi twice a week, etc.). But in the big picture, Brent still is essentially tough on the outside, wonderful on the inside, and very considered in his estimations of people. Similarly, as emotional as I am, I have learned to try and control those impulses so as not to perplex and alienate my loved ones. I simply can't take Brent on my personality roller coaster, because he can't handle it. So I try to keep it as even keel as possible. But happy or sad, I feel those emotions keenly, and express myself accordingly. I can't help it. So it looks as if we already know a lot about Oscar and Judah, and interestingly enough, they have showed us a lot about ourselves.
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