Month Five Pictures!

Ok, here are pictures of Oscar and Judah's antics in Month Five! There are some momentous occaisions in some of these pictures, including their first cereal, their first trip to Phoenix and their first dip in the pool! Good times!

http://picasaweb.google.com/oscarandjudah/Month5#

Forgive my sap...

I know you guys won't indulge many more posts of this nature, but I am having such a case of the belated  baby dreamy-ness.  I really didn't expect to be so sentimental, and I really mocked most of my new mommy friends for all their sappy, mommy dreaminess. 

But I just watched Judah flip over, and with that flip went all my banal, cynical, mommy-judgy banter.  I melted.  Judah flipped over and over.  And I couldn't be prouder if he had won the Nobel Prize for Peace.  What the hell has happened to me? I am equating my five month old to world leaders?

The mommy gene has struck me and in a big bad way.  Yes, it is a bit of a delayed reaction and yes, for my childless friends, please feel free to laugh at me.  I did.  For all my parent friends, I really did laugh at you.  I admit it now. But I cannot help myself, I am a hot mess.  I love those boys more than words can express and even that is insufficient.  Judah is making all these wonderful ooohs, and ahhs right now and I couldn't be more puffed up, well actually, there is no equivalent for how puffed up I feel.

I guess what is most remarkable is the skepticism I felt about parenthood, even contemporaneously.   Sometimes I still feel so detached.  But right now the love I feel is so overwhelming that I don't have words for it and that is feat for those who know me.  These boys are the most amazing thing in the whole world.  And that is the best gift any parent can feel.   

I love them more than I knew love could contain. 

Voyeurism

Tonight Judah was crying for quite a while after we put him to bed.  I finally went upstairs to check on him and discovered him wriggling around his crib in discomfort.  I picked him up, cradled him to me and he let out a long and wet burp.  Then he sighed in contentment and snuggled up to me, barely awake.  I decided that I would rock him a little while and make sure he went back to sleep.  

I walked into our darkened playroom which is next to the boys' bedroom.  There is a large bay window in there and it was after dusk, nearly nighttime.  The light was all purple and deep blue, that twilighty color that evokes warmth, security and well, dinner.  I stood in front of the window and looked at my neighbor's homes.  Everyone's house was lit up, people standing around their granite islands making dinner, kids doing homework in home offices, front porch lights on making each house look cozy and friendly. 

Our neighborhood has a touch of the Desperate Housewives feel to it.  Everyone is pretty nosy around here and we have more than our fair share of inquisitive, botoxed mommies.  Just this past week, one of my neighbors confronted me in a marginally joking manor and mentioned that she had witnessed a friend of ours boot in our front yard after a particularly debaucherous evening.  We had been drinking copious amounts of Jack and Patron that night and our buddy was quite worse for the wear.  Incidentally, so are our juniper bushes.  Puke is not fertilizer.  Regardless, our soccer mom neighbor was fairly appalled at the frat house antics occuring at our home.  Needless to say, people tend to keep an eye on one another around here. 

Anyway, as I stared out of the bay window into the evening, I found myself thinking about the house across the street.  A lovely family of four lives there, complete with two teenage boys that are all legs.  They are still fairly sweet, which gives away their age.  Soon I am sure they will be full of the swagger and bravado of most adolescents, but for now, these are just good kids.  I have heard that their mom has been losing a long, long battle with cancer.  On Monday, she came home from the hospital in an ambulance and all day Tuesday, I watched hospice workers come and go in the dreary April rain.  

In contrast to all the other houses on the block, theirs was darkened.  The only light shone from their front office, where I watched the father (I assume, I have never met the parents) hold his head in his hands on his desk.  I felt like I was intruding on an intensely sad and private moment for this family in crisis.  (I suppose I am furthering that intrusion through this blog post, and for that I am sorry, but I need to process this).  

As I watched and wondered with a heavy heart, grieving for this family I barely know, I considered Judah resting peacefully in my arms.  I am sure that my neighbors once held their young boys in their arms and thought about how blessed they were.  I am sure they never suspected that their athletic, boisterous sons would grow up and reach adulthood without their mother.  I guess the whole thing has made me curious and apprehensive about the years to come.  We really don't know how this is all going to play out.   My voyeurism this evening just reinforces that every day is a gift, that I shouldn't be so impatient for the future,and  that every giggle, fart and shnoot from the boys is important.  

My thoughts are with my neighbors tonight. 

Happy Five Month Birthday!

Dear Oscar and Judah,

Happy Birthday! You are officially five months old. The biggest news to report is that all of the sudden, you have become little people! As usual, there have been so many fun developments, I am not sure where to start...

Let's begin with your sheer size. You are both total bruisers! When you were born at just over 6 lbs. each you were in the fifteenth percentile and now you are up to the fiftieth, weighing in at over 16 lbs. each! Of course it is no surprise you have done all this catching up, considering your strong affinity for mealtimes. And that is putting in mildly. It never ceases to amaze your father and I how cranky you get when you are hungry. Although Brent does see a resemblance to me in these tantrums. I too tend to feel like crying, pounding my fists and screaming when I have to wait more than four hours between meals.

Yep, you read that right, the boys are now eating every four hours, which makes an unbelievable difference in our days. You are down to four feedings a day and that is just paradise. It is amazing what can be accomplished in that extra hour. And on the eating front, we have introduced rice cereal. You guys have seemed to have taken a shine to that globby stuff. I can't bring myself to taste it because it looks so much like paste. But my mom gave me a lesson on how to shovel it in and make sure most of it is actually swallowed instead of played with and we are making progress. Before we know it, you guys will be eating sushi!

Also on the appearance front, Oscar, you have revealed yourself to be blue eyed and blond haired. I don't where this little Scandinavian has come from, but we all know how well Nordic looking Jewish boys fare. After all, they don't all have to look like Seth Rogan or Adam Sandler. And speaking of funny Jews, Judah you are looking more and more like Brent every day. Even the shape of your heads are similar.

This past week, we took you guys on your second official trip. This time, we ventured to Scottsdale to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. The flight out was nothing short of misery. Oscar, you whined, cried, and generally voiced your discontent the whole way there. And of course, there was a rat bastard sitting next to me, who wouldn't even let me rest my drink on his tray while I wrestled with you to stop screaming. It was a delight. Luckily, once we arrived, we had a lovely trip. The highlight was you guys swimming in the pool. You LOVED it! I have never seen two more relaxed swimmers. You guys were naturals. Daddy and I just carried you around the pool and you laid back and laughed. It was hilarious! I will post some pictures in another post.

Next month...PEAS!