HOLY CRAP!!! TWINS!!!!

Well, considering I have done nothing other than talk on the phone for the last 20 hours or so, this is probably not news to anyone, but WE ARE HAVING TWINS!!! Yep, you read that right. Brent and I are having freaking twins. As in two children. As in double everything. As in the end of my life as I know it. If I ever had any doubts about whether karmic retribution was real, I don't anymore.

Honestly, I am too overwhelmed to post about this now, but I am sure I will have much more later. Twins. OMG. Twins. I can't stop saying it!!!

I have been outed.

So, there is this whole crazy agony about when to tell that you are preggers. And for me this incredibly complicated considering I am quite literally BURSTING to tell everyone from even my most distant cousin to every co-worker I happen across. The agony relates to a number of competing factors. First of all, there is a very reasonable underpinning to waiting at least three months to tell, so that if anything goes wrong (and it does a lot, like 10-20% of the time!) you don't have to go around telling everyone you are no longer pregnant. I can imagine this would be unbelievable upsetting, and it makes sense to keep it fairly quiet until I get the all clear, or at the very least, a heartbeat.

That being said, it SUCKS! Waiting is making each day crawl by. And the news is slipping out of me in the most unusual ways. I am telling seemingly random people that don't know me from Adam, so if I do happen to miscarry, I won't have to circle back to update them. And I have been writing this blog for months, mostly for therapeutic reasons. I figured no one on the planet was reading it because I had only told Brent about it. However, I neglected to realize that when you comment on someone's else's blog using your Blogger ID, people can click on your name and see your whole blog profile. How ridiculously naive of me to think that no one I know would find this out in cyberspace. After all, if pics of La Lohan taking bong hits can surface, my silly little blog will probably not stay on the DL. So long story short, Brent and I were at dinner this week and a local chef that we are friendly with came over to congratulate me. He had seen one of my comments out in the blogosphere, clicked on my name to investigate and voila! D'oh! By the by, I was quite relieved that he knew because of my blog and not because I happened to be wearing a fairly shapeless dress that might have hinted at my expanding waistline. Phew.

Anyway, my general philosophy has been to tell me close friends and family (which is still quite a large circle of people) keeping in mind that if I did have the terrible misfortune to have something go wrong, I would probably tell this group of people anyway so I could lean on them for moral support. However, being the gossip that I am, I realize once the cat is out of the bag, it is out for good and there is no going back. So it sounds like the news is leaking out one way or another. Oh well. I guess subconsciously I am glad. After all, I want everyone to know anyway!

Um, my boobs are ginormous...

Early pregnancy symptoms are bizarre. Here is a breakdown, with all the gory details:

My breastestes
All I have to say, is damn! First of all, they are giant. I mean porn star big. And freaking heavy! I have somewhat impressive tatas in the first place, but yowza! These have become outrageous. Second of all, OUCH! They kill. I mean agony if Brent so much as breathes on them crosswise. If this keeps up, I can't imagine my belly will be the problem when trying to see my shoes in a few month!

The world stinks!
So let me go on record my saying that typically, I adore Panda Express. What can I say, I am a sucker for cheap, mass produced, sodium laden chinese food. However, this past weekend, during a stroll through the foodcourt, I turned the loveliest shade of pea green at the overwhelming aroma of stir fry. Even now, just thinking about it I have had to move my trash can a little closer to my chair. Oh, and a hearty thanks to my darling sister Emily who thought it was downright hilarious to blow her chopped liver breath in my face on Saturday. Don't worry sister dear, payback is a bitch.

I want to sleep, even more than usual...
As most of you may know, I commonly enjoy a little afternoon shluff in my car during my lunchhour, but lately I have been seriously contemplating pulling a Costanza and hiding under my desk for a brief siesta. I can barely make it through the day I am so tired all the time. The darn sea monkey is stealing all my spunk! Oh well, I guess he needs it more than I do...

Oh and yeah, that is right, I think it is a HE. No reason really, other than a hunch. Apparently my dad is laboring under the delusion that I will be naming him Harry Kansas Joseph. Don't ask me where he came up with that one, because I couldn't tell you if I tried. I will let you decide for yourself if you think he is on to something.

I have a sea monkey!!!

Well, I have been waiting to write this post for an extremely long six months. But...Brent and I are having a baby (although, like Juno, I am thinking of it as a sea monkey for now since it is fairly reptilian for a while)! Yep, a new monster is on its way. I am an absolute mess of emotions. I am going to try and communicate them succinctly and coherently, but please forgive me for rambling.

The story: So Brent and I have been experimenting with some fertility treatments. We knew we faced a bit of an uphill battle because I have PCOS so I am been on Chlomid the last three months. We tried the good old fashioned way for a while, with continuous disappointments. We went to our OB-GYN and she diagnosed me with hostile cervical mucous. That is right it isn't just my saucy attitude that is hostile, it is also my reproductive organs! So the upshot was that even though Brent has great swimmers, they can't get through my Great Wall of Cervical Mucous to get to my uterus. So we went to meet with Dr. Colver, a fantastic fertility specialist (called an R/E) who suggested that do an IUI (otherwise known as the turkey baster method). We timed this all very well and I had the good fortune to have the IUI coincide with my first appointment with Dr. Colver, so essentially we killed two birds with one fortuitous stone.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. In the interim we went to San Antonio for the Final Four. As you may know Brent is psychotic KU fan and I have essentially adopted them as my team, seeing as IU stinks. We had the greatest time ever, but I gotta admit, I spent a good portion of the weekend wondering whether there was a bun in the oven. I guess I should have realized something was amiss when instead of wanting to drink all afternoon of the Championship game, I went to the rental car to take a nap.

When we got home on Tuesday, I realized that my period had been due that day. Wonder of wonders, I had actually lost track of the days! No small feat when you are trying to get pregnant. The two week wait is agonizing. Anyway, I took a pregnancy test, and lo and behold...positive! I couldn't believe it. We confirmed a couple days later with a blood test and then a second blood test to make sure my hormone levels were rising appropriately. They were.

Side bar, when we did IUI, we found out we had three mature follicles, which for you laymen means, a possibility of twins or triplets! My hormone levels were pretty normal though, so there is still a chance of multiples, although it looks pretty small. We will know more in a couple weeks. Wouldn't that just be ridiculous for me to have twins right off the bat!? Some might even say divine retribution from the universe.

So that is the story. I will try and post more about how I am feeling (physically and emotionally) but for now, that should be enough food for thought. Good times!

p.s. My due date is December 18th! Brent was happy to note that the Colts play an away game that night so if I deliver on time, he can be there.