A little incapacitated.

I am getting big. And I don't mean, "haha you are so cute pregnant" big. I mean, "You look like you need to be wearing a circus tent!" big. This has all happened very quickly. It feels like even three or four weeks ago, I was a manageable size. No longer. I had back to back weekly doctor's visits and we discovered that I grew 4 centimeters in a week! That is outrageous! To put things in perspective I am now the size of a woman that is 8 months pregnant with one baby. I, on the other hand, am only 5 and 1/2 months pregnant (albeit with two babies). So the upshot is that while I am feeling enormous, I am actually pretty much on track for twins.

The amusing side effect of my girth is my ever broadening range of complaints. Here is a short list of things that it is getting difficult to do:

1. Wear a seatbelt - It has to be across my legs, instead of on my non-existent lap

2. Cross my legs - I don't why, but I just can't do this anymore. I look like Al Bundy when I sit

3. Sleep - every night is an adventure, I have become practically a contortionist trying to find a comfy position

4. Sit on the floor - Brent's favorite activity these days is laughing at me when I try to get up from a seated position

5. Tie my shoes - god it seems early to be dealing with this cliche of pregnancy

6. Wear a bathing suit - ok, so technically I can still wear one, but it might scare small children

7. Go to work - who am I kidding, that was always hard for me

8. WALK

So Number 8 needs a bit of elaboration. I think I have mentioned before that my left leg has started falling asleep if I walk or stand for more than 5 minutes. Well, this coupled with my lack of stamina, my general bad mood, and my penguin-like gait has forced me to reevaluate my walking options. But I am not bed ridden yet and I like to be out and about. So, I have gotten creative. Case in point, last week, Brent and I went to Sam's Club for some necessities. I really wanted to go in and not just sit in the car (all those free samples are like drugs to a pregnant woman). But I knew I just couldn't make it around that mammoth monument to American consumerism. So, I hopped in a motorized cart- in our family, we call them Amazing Jazzies. And it was some good clean fun, let me tell you! I spent most of our shopping trip trying to run Brent over, speeding up aisles in reverse (complete with a back up beep!) and generally enjoying all the stares I got. It was so funny. And fun. Check out the picture for a visual.

It is amazing the lengths with which I have to go to entertain myself without wine.