Get your paws off me!

This may be a bit played out, and I know it is a frequent gripe by pregnant women, but WHY THE HELL DO STRANGERS COME UP AND TOUCH ME???? I do not understand this phenomenon. Most of you who know me know that I am not the most touchy kind of person. I just don't really like to be man handled, by strangers or even by friends. In fact, this past weekend, I went to see Kathy Griffin with two of my dearest friends in the world, and I was totally smushed in the seat. Becky, sitting to my left, couldn't avoid her arm or foot touching mine. But I wanted to give her a smack! I couldn't stand the skin to skin contact and I love her dearly. So you can imagine how I feel about all these freaking strangers touching my belly.

Yesterday we had the unfortunate experience of attending our third funeral this year. We are heartbroken to have lost Brent's cousin David, who was 27. He has been very ill since birth, and this was not unexpected, but still, it was tragic and we are so sad for his parents. We spent the majority of the weekend attending family obligations related to David's death. The unfortunate side effect of all of this was that I had to see A LOT of people, some of which I didn't know very well. And I look VERY pregnant. And people were just all over me, like white on rice. I am sure it had something to do with people wanting to focus on a happy event in the midst of such sadness, but it felt so invasive. It is like people didn't realize I might be in mourning too and that I might not exactly be up to being circus freak sideshow.

The worst offender was relentless. This woman, we will call her Cruella de Touchy, came up to me and started rubbing the back of my arm. I stepped back, seeing as that little familiar gesture generally makes my skin crawl, not to mention the fact that I barely know her and couldn't remember her name immediately. She was undeterred. She stepped forward again, now with one hand on my arm and the other on my belly. I took two steps back. Again, she kept coming, and now she added close talking to her repertoire of miseries. I could not escape this evil woman. I was being assaulted! I put my arms firmly in front of my stomach and started walking away. Cruella de Touchy just wouldn't get the hint. I was fuming and finally I just walked away mid-sentence. Brent watched the whole spectacle and was laughing because he could tell how miserable I was. I just don't understand what it is about being pregnant that suddenly makes you public property?

The rule of thumb that I have developed out of my close encounters yesterday is this: if you would hug someone upon seeing them, then it is probably ok to touch them, gently, on the belly, WITH EXPRESS PRIOR PERMISSION. Otherwise, HANDS OFF!!!

That means you Cruella de Touchy!