Daydream Believer

Brent and I have had the weekend to adjust to our big news from last week, and it has definitely begun to sink in. As I expected, finding out the babies' sexes has helped a lot with the reality of being a parent. Finally I can begin to picture what my family is going to be like.

However, I have a terrible tendancy to oversimplify things until I experience them. Case in point: pre-pregnancy I never understood what the big deal was. I figured your belly got big and that was the whole story. I was completely unprepared for how humongous the changes would be to my body. No one told me that I would feel like a completely different person once I was pregnant. I figured I would buy a couple of empire waisted dresses and be good to go. Um, no. My body is a complete mystery to me, complete with long fingernails, hair that is falling out, giant boobs, and a range of emotions that could fairly be described as schizophrenic. And that is putting it mildly.

So, in keeping with my usual oversimplifications, I am picturing two robust, athletic, sports minded boys, who love manly man things like their dad, but have a sensitive (ok emotional) side like their mom. I am already dreading their destructive little hands leaving fingerprints all over my new house. I am dreaming of bowl haircuts and bike rides. I am wondering how I will teach two little boys to pee standing up when I have never really even seen a man do it (I ask to Brent to close the door. He sometimes complies.) I am dreaming of picking out two Brooks Brothers suits for their bar mitzvahs. And I am fantasizing about them coming home from school and telling me about a crush they have, and asking for advice about the mysteries of girls.

But of course, I really have no clue what to expect. I am sure most of these images are born and bred from TV shows, movies, books, and other people's experiences. The truth is, the reality will probably be far more complicated, interesting, exhausting and exhilarating that the sound bites and fleeting images that are swimming around in my brain. These boys are going to be individuals who I am sure will surprise me at every turn. But for now, I will keep on daydreaming about who I think they will be, because otherwise there is nothing else to do but wait.