It is 1:24 p.m. and I haven't dried my hair.

For those of you who know me, that is a big deal. I am totally obsessive about keeping my hair clean, shiny and straight. When I let my hair air dry, it becomes the texture of hay and it looks like Gilda Radner's lid. So, even if I don't change my underwear, I make sure that my hair is gorgeous. I figure people will forgive the extra 25 lbs I am carting around if I look pretty from the neck up.

But alas and alack, today it was not meant to happen that I could blow dry and straighten my hair. To help explain this shocking phenomena, let me take you through my day. Bear in mind that right now I practically have a staff to help me run this house and I still can't seem to groom myself. We still have the night nurse five nights a week from 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m., and a nanny five days a week from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. and yet, I am still a bit of a mess. I can't even fathom how one does this without help.

See, I got up at 7:30 to the dulcet sounds of Judah crying. And after changing, nursing and dressing him (which took 45 minutes), it was Oscar's turn (who had been crying off and on the entire time). Then I did the same for Oscar. Then I went downstairs to pump for another ten minutes. Next thing you know, it was after 9:00 and Brent was leaving. I tried to scrape together time to brush my teeth, shower, get dressed in whatever Old Navy stretchy cotton outfit that was devoid of breast milk stains, and then shovel in some breakfast since I was ravenous (nursing burns 1000 calories a day for twins, and I would look like Elle McPherson right now if it wasn't for all the extra food I have to eat just to have the energy to lift the remote).

By now, Judah woke up again, since it has been three hours since he last ate. Then I start the cycle all over again. By this time, it is now 12:30 or 1:00 p.m. I am sure you are getting the picture. Basically, I end up having (if I am lucky) about 60-90 minutes between each feeding cycle and I have to choose how I spend that time very wisely. My options today included the following (in order of necessity)

1. Eat
2. Sleep
3. Brush teeth
4. Shower
5. Put on minimum of toiletries (deodorant is never optional)
6. Empty dishwasher and other kitchen chores so that I can stay organized for the next feeding
7. Feed dogs
8. Answer the phone which rings 8 trillion times a day
9. Watch Price is Right (hey, I have to pump anyway, why can't I enjoy a few pricing games too?)
10. Check email, pay bills etc.
11. Write thank you notes. (Ok, these are currently the bane of my existence. I am averaging getting three done a day, but the gifts are still rolling in at a clip of about 2 a day, so I am not really catching up at all).

Obviously, I could go on and on. But suffice it to say, straightening my hair fell off the list today. At least I didn't have to leave the house so no one other than my nanny and my husband had to witness me in my frizzy glory.