Crushed

I don't even know where to begin. First of all, there have been a lot of happy things going on so stay tuned for some happier posts to come on our recent ultrasound, my prenatal yoga classes, and our recent trip to California. But right now, Brent and I are just destroyed by the untimely and unexpected death of our beloved German Shepherd Elke. For those of you who haven't heard, Elke was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive tumor on her heart and very quickly (practically overnight) went from being a completely happy normal pup to a very sick dog. I will spare you the details, but yesterday we had to make an immediate decision to end her suffering and it was one of the most heart wrenching things Brent and I have ever been through. This post is a love letter to our wonderful pet.

Dear Elke,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the wonderful times we have spent together. I know when we met we didn't exactly hit it off, in fact, I distinctly recall when I first slept over at Brent's and all 90 pounds of you decided to sit on my chest to let me know exactly how you felt about my presence. I also remember your, ahem, reaction to some of our bedroom activities. After a particular amorous morning, I remember you chased your tail until it was a bleeding mess and then wagged it all over the place, spraying blood around and making the house look like a crime scene.

But regardless of your early reservations about me and my intentions towards your daddy, I really would like to think that we grew on each other. You started to lick my face and give me kisses on Saturday mornings, when you would lay in bed between Brent and I for hours enjoying the weekend peace as much as we did.

You always did the most amazing things to let us know how much you loved us. Like how you always slept facing the bedroom door to make sure you would be able to alert us to trouble. Or how you barked at every mailman, golfer, or visitor until we gave the high sign. Or how you would take care of Walter like he was your own puppy, herding him inside when he wouldn't come when we called.

And you were so funny. You would watch Animal Planet for hours, laying on the floor in front of the TV sucking on a toy. Your reaction to seeing another German Shepherd on TV was utterly astounding, you actually recognized yourself! Sometimes I thought you might have been smarter than me (and certainly smarter than some of the girls in my sorority, that is for sure). Even your nervous habits were hilarious. I loved how you would talk to people, I have never seen a more vocal dog. And when football season starts this fall, it just won't feel the same without you getting excited right along with us when Peyton and the Colts go for one of their legendary drives. Or when our fantasy players get hurt and we curse the screen, you won't be there to bark your head off in sympathetic frustration or indignation. We will miss you terribly.

Last night the house was unbearable empty. Walter is walking around looking for you. He is so confused and so are we. We feel robbed that you didn't get to enjoy our huge new yard. When the leaves come down this fall, you won't be there to dive into the piles and play like a puppy. I wonder if anything will ever feel the same without you there?

Most of all, I am heartbroken that you won't get to meet our twins. You see, I was counting on you to be there to protect them, just like you did for us. I couldn't wait for you to meet them and for them to meet you. Since I have been pregnant, I thought you may have known, and have been even more protective of me than usual. And now, we will have to settle for showing our kiddos pictures of you and telling them all our funny stories about your wonderful personality, loyal disposition, and most of all our unique love affair with you.

We love you with all our hearts and we will forever. Thank you for everything you did for us.