One of the things that I have had lots of reservations about so far is how early I spilled the beans about being pregnant. Most of you know that I cannot keep a secret to save my life, so next time you need to confess how much you hate your mother in law, or that your boyfriend's kissing technique resembles a teenage Dungeons and Dragons aficionado, please keep this little factoid in mind. But as bad as I am at keeping other people's secrets, I am even worse at keeping my own. At least I am an equal opportunity offender. Hence the reason I told everyone that we were having twins when I was approximately 6 minutes pregnant.
One of the major pitfalls of this early disclosure is my paranoia of having a miscarriage of one or both babies. Now apparently this is a fairly rational fear and the precise underpinning for waiting to share this joyous news. Lately, every time I discuss my pregnancy with someone, a little voice in my head (in a NY Jewishy Momish accent for some strange reason) says "You'll be sorry when you have to tell everyone you aren't having one or both babies! Baruch Hashem! Puh Puh"
(For those of you non-Jews out there, the "puh puh" is the simulated sound of when a Jewish mother spits on you for good luck. Yes, spits on you. Don't ask.)
This whole phenomenon is exacerbated by the ridiculous pregnancy library I have accumulated. Which is intersting considering I have never read a self help book in my whole life, unless you count "He's Just Not that Into You." But I cannot get enough of these prego manifestos, even though they are brimming with fun little details like 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and that all twin pregnancies are "high risk." Lovely. I have gotten into a habit of reading these books right before I go to bed, and then I have these bizarre dreams all night where I miscarry, or give birth to puppies, or I am in labor in a trash can or something. It is FREAKING ME OUT.
I guess there is nothing to do but hang in there and hope for the best. I am trying really hard to keep a positive attitude and adopt the belief that no news is good news. I have an ultrasound this Thursday that should provide some reassurance that all is well. Until then I will just have to try and skip the parts of the book about "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" and other such nonsense.
One of the major pitfalls of this early disclosure is my paranoia of having a miscarriage of one or both babies. Now apparently this is a fairly rational fear and the precise underpinning for waiting to share this joyous news. Lately, every time I discuss my pregnancy with someone, a little voice in my head (in a NY Jewishy Momish accent for some strange reason) says "You'll be sorry when you have to tell everyone you aren't having one or both babies! Baruch Hashem! Puh Puh"
(For those of you non-Jews out there, the "puh puh" is the simulated sound of when a Jewish mother spits on you for good luck. Yes, spits on you. Don't ask.)
This whole phenomenon is exacerbated by the ridiculous pregnancy library I have accumulated. Which is intersting considering I have never read a self help book in my whole life, unless you count "He's Just Not that Into You." But I cannot get enough of these prego manifestos, even though they are brimming with fun little details like 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and that all twin pregnancies are "high risk." Lovely. I have gotten into a habit of reading these books right before I go to bed, and then I have these bizarre dreams all night where I miscarry, or give birth to puppies, or I am in labor in a trash can or something. It is FREAKING ME OUT.
I guess there is nothing to do but hang in there and hope for the best. I am trying really hard to keep a positive attitude and adopt the belief that no news is good news. I have an ultrasound this Thursday that should provide some reassurance that all is well. Until then I will just have to try and skip the parts of the book about "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" and other such nonsense.
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